Here's How You Reacted To Reading 'Goblet Of Fire'

by Ilana Masad

My first experience of really having to wait for a new HP to come out was with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire . I was living in Israel at the time, so I pre-ordered it from abroad, insanely impatient to read it in English instead of Hebrew.

After I got the book (FINALLY), I read it feverishly, late into the night. I polished it off in fewer than three days. But then I went back... and I've gone back many, many times since. I've read my copy so many times that the hardcover spine broke right down the middle. Now, if that isn't a badge of honor, I don't know what is.

The coolest thing about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was how incredibly long it was, yet how quickly it moved. There was also a new element to this book. I was a teenager, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione were properly teenagers now, too. Hormones were happening all around. Do you remember that elation, realizing that you were either around the same age the characters or old enough to empathize with them better? Do you remember reading the first three HPs right before the publication date so you could be sure to make all the connections? And then, when you finally got your hands on it, whether it was in a package from Amazon or at the midnight party release at your closest bookstore — do you remember how freaking shocked you were when you finally reached the end?

Yeah. It was mind-blowing.


Where are we? What's with this new town? This is how the first book started. I'm feeling very "where is this Harry Potter fellow?" again.


Harry's scar is hurting. That whole beginning bit? Yeah, Harry's having dreams about You-Know-Who and they're not of the sexy nature. This is not a good sign.


The Burrow! The Quidditch World Cup! Wizards from other countries! Oh my!


The Dark Mark is in the sky. Holy frack. This is not good. This is so not good. This is giving me many unpleasant racism feelings.


First the authorities think Harry and Hermione and Ron did it which is ridiculous, and then they blame Winky, Barty Crouch's house-elf, and he sets her free. She doesn't want to be free. Again the unpleasant deep-seated racism reminders.


There's a thing called a Triwizard tournament, a dude with a huge eye is going to be teaching DADA, and there are other magic schools. Cooooool.

*Facepalm* (yes, it's an emotion)

Of course Harry is screwed again somehow. Of course. I mean, why would we care about the Triwizard tournament really if Harry weren't involved somehow, right? And now the Hufflepuffs and Ravencalws and Slytherins are all united against Gryffindor. Wonderful. And Ron hates Harry. Even better. Oh dear.


OK, yes, the first task is dragons, but then Harry has his Firebolt and he's a BAMF. It's awesome. Plus, dragons are cool, so I can't help being optimistic when they're around.


Ron and Harry makes amends in the most guyish way possible where they're basically like, "Dude, I'm—" "No, dude, I'm—" "Cool." "We're good." And anyway there are months to go before the next task and the other champions don't hate Harry anymore, so things are looking up.


There's a ball, there's a ball, OMG, there's a ball! And Hermione is going with a superstar Quidditch player who's got a hot accent, and Ron and Harry are going with the Patel twins (and being with twins is totally a fantasy dudes have, but they're 14 and access to porn is limited without Internet, so they don't realize how hot their dates are supposed to be). Shame about Cho and Harry, though...


So, the whole egg in the bath and Myrtle watching Harry naked (Myrtle says she closed her eyes when Harry was naked but come on, now, we all know she totally didn't) — I just don't really get how an underwater task is a great spectator sport. Nobody could see what was going down there, could they? Also, Krum believing Hermione is the most important thing to him and Cedric thinking Cho is? These dudes are seriously overdoing it in the teenage love department.


Lead-up to third task was fun and all but, but, but — *hyperventilates* Cedric just got killed. And Harry is watching You-Know-Who become an actual WHO again. He watches Voldemort *flinch* become the Dark Lord, coming back to life, actually there in the flesh. This is the scariest thing that's every happened in the series of these books so far, especially with Harry tied against a tombstone and then fighting off Voldemort with his parents and the weird wand-connection thing and just... GAH!


So Cedric's dead, Moody was never Moody but actually Crouch Jr., Voldemort's alive and things are never going to be the same again. How the hell do we withstand the years until the next book comes out?

Images: Giphy (13)