Artisanal Spam Purveyor Spam Bushwick Was Introduced As An April Fool's Joke, But I Want It Anyway
Maybe it's because I'm a hopeless country bumpkin at heart, but when I woke up and read about the existence of artisanal Spam purveyor Spam Bushwick, I shrugged and went on with my morning routine, aka the daily, unending search for a mug of coffee bigger than my head. It wasn't until I came back to the article half an hour later that I realized it was clearly an April Fools' prank. The moral of the story? Either Brooklyn really is so hipster that artisanal Spam is actually believable, or I really need to get more sleep because my cognitive functions are in decline. It's probably the latter, but I'd say the former has a pretty good case going for it too. According to Mashable, Spam Bushwick is excited to introduce two flavors with the launch of their product: Lemongrass Coconut Oil and Sriracha Pickles. Let's be real here — you know someone who would eat Sriracha Pickles-flavored Spam. The evidence is overwhelming that people will eat anything if you say it's Sriracha-flavored. Seriously. You might even be that person. But Sriracha isn't the only unconventional ingredient in Spam Bushwick's product; each can's first ingredient is "inspiration." As for the rest... well, nobody really wants to know what's in Spam anyway.
Once again, this is obviously an April Fools' joke from the folks over at Brooklyn Independent Media, but would you honestly be surprised if it wasn't? In a world where artisanal mayonnaise, candles, and ice cubes
are a thing, it's not difficult to believe someone (other than my grandmother) would try to bring back Spam. I just hope the prank doesn't actually inspire someone to try this at home.
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