This Eerily Realistic Mannequin Gives Birth To Help Med Students And Also To Haunt Your Nightmares — VIDEO

Hey, ready to get scarred for life? GOOD. Because all you have to do is watch about five seconds of this eerily realistic mannequin giving birth, and you may just never sleep again. Like, don't get me wrong: Childbirth is a beautiful and glorious thing, and we should celebrate every woman who has ever pushed a human out of their bajingo or had one surgically removed from her baby bubble. But you know what is significantly less beautiful and glorious? A plastic woman pushing a plastic baby out of her plastic vagina. And that, my friends, is exactly what Victoria S2200 does. And she does it astonishingly well.

Moment of silence for poor Victoria, whose sole purpose and ultimate destiny is to push an inanimate baby out of herself over and over until the end of days. Hers is not the most...feminist of lives, but it is all for a good purpose. Her hyper-realistic features make her a prime educational tool for med students, and a source of endless wonder for people like me, who have absolutely no knowledge of how the human body works beyond it digesting the criminal amounts of pizza I eat. Apparently her skin feels like real skin, and she responds to drugs, epidurals, and pressure like a real person would. Basically she'll do everything just short of screaming, "YOU DID THIS TO ME, YOU BASTARD!!!" at the man cowering in the hall.

Just look at all the things poor Victoria has to endure on a daily basis:

Oh, but friends — that's not all. I don't think there's any way to really prepare someone for a fake baby coming out of a completely hairless fake vagina, so I won't try. But I will say this is decidedly NOT safe for work. Or anywhere, really. You'll never be safe again.

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I think what makes it so weird is that if someone showed you that gif out of context, you might think it was a real live human baby for half a second and then be like "WAIT WHAT WHOA, she gave birth to a Bitty Baby??"

It also is equipped to handle Bitty Baby breech births (say that ten times fast, preferably when you're alone and nobody can commit you to a psych ward):

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THAT'S NOT ALL! It can even do C-sections. Victoria can't catch a break.

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Don't forget the placenta...

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So yeah, that's pretty much enough to make me decide I never want to give birth to a plastic doll in this lifetime. In case you wanted to see more (WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO SEE MORE?!?), here's the video that shows the full range of weird things Victoria can do:

Gaumard Scientific on YouTube

Images: YouTube (10)