Lu Lu and Zhen Zhen Broke The World Record For Panda Sex, And There's A Lot For Us Humans To Learn

There’s so much we can learn from the animal kingdom. For starters, they don’t have things like religious freedom acts that just lead to discrimination, nor do they have wars, terrorist attacks, or politics. They’re basically void of the shit that can get in the way of our human society fully reaching our greatest potential. It’s also from the animal world where we can get some sex tips, especially from pandas. This week some major news broke out of China. Two pandas, Lu Lu and Zhen Zhen, broke a world record for panda sex. This is important on many levels, the first being that pandas on are on the verge of extinction, and the second being that breaking sex records, no matter who’s doing it, is always exciting news.

Female pandas are unique in that they only have one estrous cycle a year (aka. being in heat), and it lasts only two to seven days. Other animals, like cats for example, can be in heat more than once a year up to 21 days each time and rats have a cycle that’s only four to five days long, meaning they can make babies over and over and over, hence the reason there is an estimated two million rats in New York City alone. Yeah, I know… it makes me tremble, and not in a good way, too. So because pandas aren’t rats and their species’ existence is in jeopardy, it’s essential that when a female panda is in heat, the zookeepers bring in a gentleman to get things happening.

Enter Lu Lu.

Lu Lu’s stamina puts the stamina of all other male pandas to shame. In fact, his prowess is so legendary that he’s called “The Enduring Brother,” a name, I’m sure, every human man would just loooove to have, but never will. Sorry, boys. When Lu Lu and Zhen Zhen got together to make the magic happen this week they had sex for ― wait for it ― SEVEN MINUTES AND 45 SECONDS. Score!

But before you start scoffing and wondering what sort of sex tips us humans could be learning from a pandas, let me point out a sad truth: These two pandas lasted longer than the average couple here in the United States. What’s the average time a couple lasts, you ask? Seven minutes and one second, and that action is happening in state of New Mexico. Other states like Vermont, Georgia, and Louisiana average anywhere from one minutes and 21 seconds to two minutes and 18 seconds. So, yeah… awkward.

As human beings we tend to think we corner the market on everything, but that’s not true. There really is a lot we can learn from our fellow mammals, and tolerance for others and longer lasting sex are definitely on that list.

Images: Keith Roper/Flickr; Giphy(2)