25 'Twin Peaks' Inspired Merchandise On Etsy, Because You Should Give Yourself A Present Everyday
"Every day, once a day, give yourself a present." It's a life secret and tidbit of wisdom from Special Agent Dale Cooper, the dreamboat protagonist of David Lynch's cult TV classic, Twin Peaks . And, as the show celebrates 25 years today, it's something to take to heart. So what should we treat ourselves to? Well, Agent Cooper, says we shouldn't plan ahead of time, but some Twin Peaks merchandise seems appropriate for the occasion. And luckily, I've already combed the dark and seedy underbelly of Etsy to find some of the best Lynchian finds out there. So in honor of the show's 25th anniversary, here's 25 wonderful and strange pieces of Twin Peaks merch.
Audrey Horne Prayer Candle
“Special Agent, are you there?”
Audrey Horne Prayer Candle, $12.34, Etsy
Finally, I can wear a braindead Leo Johnson on my nails.
Twin Peaks Fun Pack, $14, Etsy
A Tape Recorder Case For Your iPhone
Take a cue from The Coop and start referring to Siri as “Diane.”
Dale Cooper’s Tape Recorder Case, $12, Etsy
What else will you use to light your cigs when you’re smoking in the girl’s room?
Twin Peaks David Lynch Chrome Lighter, $13.58, Etsy
This Diorama of The Red Room
Much like the show itself, it’s cool and will have you asking, “Huh? What? Why?”
Twin Peaks Red Room Diorama, $94.90
Black Lodge RingReplica
Filed under: ways to make your wedding vows creepy.
Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me Black Lodge Perfect Replica, $149.99, Etsy
Black Lodge/Black Flag Tee
There are no shortage of Black Flag/Twin Peaks parody tees on Etsy (let’s be real, it’s an easy joke) but this one’s at least new twist on an old classic.
Black Lodge Damaged Twin Peaks/Black Flag Tee-Shirt, $15, Etsy
Just… speaking volumes about Lynch’s fanbase here.
Twin Peaks Inspired Catnip Kitty Toys and Cat Costume Play Set, $30, Etsy
Finally, something worthy of my 120 box of Crayolas!
Twin Peaks Illustrated Zine Coloring Books, $6.12, Etsy
Laura Palmer Doll
Your niece really wanted a Monster High doll for her 5th birthday. Well… close enough.
Twin Peaks Laura Palmer Doppleganger Doll, $58.85, Etsy
Also a lot of variants of this line on a coffee mug. I’m big on the pie one, though.
Twin Peaks Coffee Mug, $13.95, Etsy
Dale Cooper Earrings
Classy and understated.
Twin Peaks Special Agent Dale Cooper Earrings, $10, Etsy
Custom Made Laura Palmer Necklace
I actually made myself one of these two years back. My brother’s friend broke it one night, and my brother started freaking out, saying it was my aunt and a family heirloom.
Anyway, if you’re lazy you can just have it custom made.
Laura Palmer Necklace, $23.50, Etsy
To hold all your jewelry/doppelgängers.
Custom Twin Peaks Inspired Black Lodge Jewelry Box, $35.25, Etsy
Dale Cooper Pillow (Cat Not Included)
At long last you can one up Audrey and sleep with Agent Cooper.
Agent Cooper Twin Peaks Pillow, $45, Etsy
Man From Another Place Birthday Card
Happy birthday, Madison! Auntie Mary Grace loves you!
Twin Peaks Birthday Card, $4.25, Etsy
Pop Art Buttons
Plenty of buttons, but these are my favzies.
Pop Art Style Twin Peaks Pinback Buttons, $1.95, Etsy
Lucy Moran T-Shirt
Twin Peaks Lucy Moran Block Printed T-Shirt, $20, Etsy
Laura Palmer Operation
The perfect children’s game to break out at Madison’s party.
Twin Peaks Operation: Definitive Laura Palmer Gold Autopsy Edition, $27.97, Etsy
For formal events i.e. weddings, prom, the Oscars…
Twin Peaks Custom Hand Painted Clutch, $61.25, Etsy
The cherry on top of your Twin Peaks Party!
Twin Peaks Illustrated Bunting, $9.19, Etsy
Bookhouse Boys Sticker
Now you too can be an honorary Bookhouse Boy (Girl?).
Bookhouse Boys Sticker, $3.83, Etsy
The Great Northern Key Ring
A nice way to whisper—not scream—about your Twin Peaks obsession.
Twin Peaks The Great Northern Hotel Room Key Ring, $15, Etsy
Agent Cooper Cross Stich
Yeah, there are patterns out there for you to make your own, but let’s not pretend we’re that crafty.
Agent Dale Cooper Framed 5x5 Cross Stich, $50, Etsy
Red Room Crop Top
Home is where the Black Lodge is.
Red Room Twin Peaks Crop Top, $30, Etsy