25 'Twin Peaks' Inspired Merchandise On Etsy, Because You Should Give Yourself A Present Everyday

"Every day, once a day, give yourself a present." It's a life secret and tidbit of wisdom from Special Agent Dale Cooper, the dreamboat protagonist of David Lynch's cult TV classic, Twin Peaks . And, as the show celebrates 25 years today, it's something to take to heart. So what should we treat ourselves to? Well, Agent Cooper, says we shouldn't plan ahead of time, but some Twin Peaks merchandise seems appropriate for the occasion. And luckily, I've already combed the dark and seedy underbelly of Etsy to find some of the best Lynchian finds out there. So in honor of the show's 25th anniversary, here's 25 wonderful and strange pieces of Twin Peaks merch.

Audrey Horne Prayer Candle

“Special Agent, are you there?”

Audrey Horne Prayer Candle, $12.34, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Nail Decals

Finally, I can wear a braindead Leo Johnson on my nails.

Twin Peaks Fun Pack, $14, Etsy

Image: Etsy

A Tape Recorder Case For Your iPhone

Take a cue from The Coop and start referring to Siri as “Diane.”

Dale Cooper’s Tape Recorder Case, $12, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Lighter

What else will you use to light your cigs when you’re smoking in the girl’s room?

Twin Peaks David Lynch Chrome Lighter, $13.58, Etsy

Image: Etsy

This Diorama of The Red Room

Much like the show itself, it’s cool and will have you asking, “Huh? What? Why?”

Twin Peaks Red Room Diorama, $94.90

Image: Etsy

Black Lodge RingReplica

Filed under: ways to make your wedding vows creepy.

Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me Black Lodge Perfect Replica, $149.99, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Black Lodge/Black Flag Tee

There are no shortage of Black Flag/Twin Peaks parody tees on Etsy (let’s be real, it’s an easy joke) but this one’s at least new twist on an old classic.

Black Lodge Damaged Twin Peaks/Black Flag Tee-Shirt, $15, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Cat Toys

Just… speaking volumes about Lynch’s fanbase here.

Twin Peaks Inspired Catnip Kitty Toys and Cat Costume Play Set, $30, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Coloring Books

Finally, something worthy of my 120 box of Crayolas!

Twin Peaks Illustrated Zine Coloring Books, $6.12, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Laura Palmer Doll

Your niece really wanted a Monster High doll for her 5th birthday. Well… close enough.

Twin Peaks Laura Palmer Doppleganger Doll, $58.85, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Coffee Mug

Also a lot of variants of this line on a coffee mug. I’m big on the pie one, though.

Twin Peaks Coffee Mug, $13.95, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Dale Cooper Earrings

Classy and understated.

Twin Peaks Special Agent Dale Cooper Earrings, $10, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Custom Made Laura Palmer Necklace

I actually made myself one of these two years back. My brother’s friend broke it one night, and my brother started freaking out, saying it was my aunt and a family heirloom.

Anyway, if you’re lazy you can just have it custom made.

Laura Palmer Necklace, $23.50, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Jewelry Box

To hold all your jewelry/doppelgängers.

Custom Twin Peaks Inspired Black Lodge Jewelry Box, $35.25, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Dale Cooper Pillow (Cat Not Included)

At long last you can one up Audrey and sleep with Agent Cooper.

Agent Cooper Twin Peaks Pillow, $45, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Man From Another Place Birthday Card

Happy birthday, Madison! Auntie Mary Grace loves you!

Twin Peaks Birthday Card, $4.25, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Pop Art Buttons

Plenty of buttons, but these are my favzies.

Pop Art Style Twin Peaks Pinback Buttons, $1.95, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Lucy Moran T-Shirt

SO CUTE.

Twin Peaks Lucy Moran Block Printed T-Shirt, $20, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Laura Palmer Operation

The perfect children’s game to break out at Madison’s party.

Twin Peaks Operation: Definitive Laura Palmer Gold Autopsy Edition, $27.97, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Clutch

For formal events i.e. weddings, prom, the Oscars…

Twin Peaks Custom Hand Painted Clutch, $61.25, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Bunting

The cherry on top of your Twin Peaks Party!

Twin Peaks Illustrated Bunting, $9.19, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Bookhouse Boys Sticker

Now you too can be an honorary Bookhouse Boy (Girl?).

Bookhouse Boys Sticker, $3.83, Etsy

Image: Etsy

The Great Northern Key Ring

A nice way to whisper—not scream—about your Twin Peaks obsession.

Twin Peaks The Great Northern Hotel Room Key Ring, $15, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Agent Cooper Cross Stich

Yeah, there are patterns out there for you to make your own, but let’s not pretend we’re that crafty.

Agent Dale Cooper Framed 5x5 Cross Stich, $50, Etsy

Image: Etsy

Red Room Crop Top

Home is where the Black Lodge is.

Red Room Twin Peaks Crop Top, $30, Etsy

Image: Etsy