Ron Burgundy has a Ben & Jerry's Flavor, But So Should These Characters

It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack: Ben & Jerry's has joined the Anchorman 2 frenzied hysteria by bestowing upon the cinematic house that Will Ferrell built its very own ice cream flavor. At long last, Ron Burgundy is getting the respect he deserves — his just desserts. Turns out milk was actually a good choice after all. Hey — who put that sad trombone sound in there? And where did this long cane come from? Why are you leaving? Wait why am I being walked off a stage right now? Wh-wh-wh—wait, though! There's more!

The limited edition flavor — "Scotchy Scotch Scotch" as it will be known — is a one-two punch of butterscotch (sorry, boozehounds): both in the flavor of the cream and the swirly-swirl around it. It will no doubt get your mojo going in a way that could potentially lead to a lot of other Anchorman references. I love lamp!

But the only problem here is that it's not enough. You're thinking small, Ben (and I guess you, too, Jerry). If you were thinking, you'd realize that America loves pretty much only two things in the universe: Anchorman quotes and ice cream — so why stop with just Ron? Why not create an entire line of ice creams? We've even come up with some names for you (we're not afraid to be servicey here, people).

  • Veronica Corningstone's Pleasure Town: Sweet corn-flavored ice cream with an explosion of smooth, salted caramel ribbons, cherries, and chocolate unicorn pieces.
  • Champ Kind's Huddle Up, Boys: Red Velvet-flavored ice cream with tiny chocolate sports balls and a cake frosting swirl.
  • Wes Mantooth's Ode to Dorothy Mantooth: Strawberry ice cream with a whipped cream swirl, topped with tiny candy kisses and chocolate switch blades — just for show.

And for those with the slightly more refined palate of a true San Diegoan:

  • Brick Tamland's Brick Tamland Ice Cream Stuff: Ice-flavored water mixed with milk and sugar.
  • Brian Fantana's Sex Panther Cream: Vanilla ice cream mixed with 3-day-old Sag Paneer. Used diaper sold separately.

You're welcome for the free billion dollar idea, Ben and Jerry.