Which Personality Type Should You Be Dating?

If you've been on OKCupid recently, you might have noticed that more and more people are disclosing their Myers-Briggs personality type on their profile page. But why? And what does your Myers-Briggs type say about who you should date?

First, let's back up: The mother and daughter team Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers, invented the Myers-Briggs Type Indictor, which is based on Jungian psychology. There are 16 distinct personality types, according to Myers-Briggs, and each one is made up of a combination of four traits, from a list of eight possibilities: extraversion (E), sensing (S), thinking (T), judgment (J), introversion (I), intuition (N), feeling (F), perception (P). So, for example, if you're an ISTJ, then you're intuitive, sensing, thinking, judging personality, and that combination of traits predicts some oddly accurate things about you.

Not only does knowing our personality type help us to understand who we are and how we react in certain situations, but it’s also a great suggestion as to who we might be compatible with, and how we are within relationships.

Once you take the test to know your Myers-Briggs personalty type, then you can figure out who, out of the 16 types, will make for your ideal romantic partner.

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1. ISTJ: The Duty Fulfiller

As an introvert, you’re reserved, preferring to spend time one-on-one. Known as “The Duty Fulfiller,” you’re loyal, and expect the same from others. You believe in playing by rules, tend to adhere to tradition, and never steer away from expressing your feelings. However, your emotions often come before logic, and that can lead to a bit of drama.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Honors commitments
  • Able to communicate
  • Good listener
  • Able to take constructive criticism
  • Able to tolerate conflict situations without freaking out

Your Weaknesses :

  • Tendency to believe you're always right
  • Not naturally in-tune with what others are feeling
  • Not likely to give enough praise

Who You Should Date: ESTP, ESFP

2. ESTJ: The Guardian

You’re an extrovert who prefers facts and figures to flights of fancy. You also like to take charge of situations, which is why you're known as “The Guardian.” You’re dependable and realistic in terms of love, but you’ll also do anything for those people who are fortunate enough to be loved by you.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Stable and dependable
  • Good at taking care of day-to-day practical concerns around the house
  • Interested in resolving conflict, rather than ignoring it
  • Takes commitments very seriously, and seeks lifelong relationships
  • Able to move on relatively easily after a relationship breaks up

Your Weaknesses:

  • Tendency to believe you're always right
  • Need to always be in charge
  • May inadvertently hurt others with insensitive language
  • Tendency to be materialistic and status-conscious
  • Generally uncomfortable with change

Who You Should Date: ISTP, ISFP

3. ISFJ: The Nurturer

Although your focus is internal, you’re so nurturing in nature that you’re even known as “The Nurturer.” You learn best by being hands-on and have an unbelievable capacity for memory. Your sense of responsibility and awareness for others' feelings is great, but you also have a hard time saying no.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Warm and friendly by nature
  • Good listener
  • Good at taking care of practical matters and daily needs

Your Weaknesses:

  • Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
  • Unlikely to express needs, which can cause pent-up frustrations to build inside
  • Difficulty leaving a bad relationship
  • Difficulty moving on after the end of a relationship

Who You Should Date: ESFP, ESTP

4. ESFJ: The Caregiver

Your way of handling things is based on your feelings about them, and you have a strong value system which everyone around you is up against. You’re loving and giving, but your extroversion can sometimes make you exhausting in the eyes of others — even people you're dating.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Makes a lot of effort to be there for partner
  • Serious about commitment and very reliable
  • Usually in a good mood
  • Values family and traditions

Your Weaknesses:

  • Change isn’t a strong suit
  • Tends to give too much
  • Insecurities mean a need for constant reaffirmation
  • Blind spots when it comes to people’s negative attributes
  • Tendency towards manipulation through guilt

Who You Should Date: ISFP, ISTP

5. ISTP: The Mechanic

You want to know why things work the way they work, which is why you are “The Mechanic.” You love sorting through facts and being active in attaining knowledge. You’re naturally good at sports and are happiest when you are the center of attention and get to show off your capabilities. Because you want to know why things function the way they do, you’re probably more likely to want to talk through your relationship's problems so that you can get past it and move on to the next thing.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Good listener
  • Full of confidence
  • Respectful of your partner’s privacy and space

Your Weaknesses:

  • Difficulty with long-term commitment
  • Tendency towards being insensitive
  • Needs a lot of space
  • Can’t express feelings very well
  • Need for excitement can cause trouble

Who You Should Date: ESFJ, ESTJ

6. ESTP: The Doer

You’re straight to the point about everything, and can get things done. You have an amazing ability to understand and read those around you, and because of this, you’re not usually left in the dark when it comes to your relationships. You’re fun, adventurous, and are always looking for a good time.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Charming, witty, and sensual
  • Can comfortably engage in conflict
  • Good under pressure
  • Great with kids
  • Lives to spoil

Your Weaknesses:

  • Prone to misunderstanding the feelings of others
  • Tendency to be risky with money
  • Gets bored easily
  • Lives in the present so much that the long-term is rarely in your mind

Who You Should Date: ISTJ, ISFJ

7. ESFP: The Performer

You’re all about your feelings, which tend to be more optimistic than not, and your extroversion makes you very vocal about all that optimism. You love beautiful things and have a deep connection with the people around you. Your ability to be flexible makes you an easy person to be in a relationship with.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Clever, witty, and fun-loving
  • Down-to-earth, sensual, and gets things done
  • Your strength allows you to leave unhealthy relationships
  • Generous

Your Weaknesses:

  • Frivolous and risky with money
  • Tendency towards being materialistic
  • Avoids conflict
  • Long-term relationships aren’t easy
  • Tendency toward self-harm through bad health decisions
  • Easily tempted by new people

Who You Should Date: ISTJ, ISFJ

8. ISFP: The Artist

As “The Artist” of the group, you’re focused on feelings and sensing. You want to be around people, and are genuinely sympathetic to their needs. Unlike many other personality types, you don’t want to control, and live and let live. But you tend to judge yourself too harshly, so you sometimes take things more seriously than you should.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Warm and positive
  • Good listener
  • Appreciates beauty
  • Prefers long-term relationships
  • Affectionate in actions
  • Respectful of partner’s need for alone time

Your Weaknesses:

  • Needs some help with finances
  • Avoids conflict
  • Can come off as lazy
  • Needs excess alone time
  • Tendency to keep feelings to self
  • Overly cynical

Who You Should Date: ESTJ, ESFJ

9. ENTJ: The Executive

You can tackle anything. You see the world with the eyes of a true leader, because you are “The Executive.” You’re not above arguing your side to make a point, and being so career-driven, relationships often come second.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Genuinely interested in others
  • Very direct and always want to do the right thing
  • Approaches conflict with positivity
  • Sentimental and affectionate
  • Good with money
  • Believes in commitment

Your Weaknesses:

  • Argumentative and confrontational
  • Has a hard time listening to others
  • Tendency to be critical with higher-than-average expectations
  • Intolerant of disorder and messiness
  • Can be controlling and intimidating
  • Bad temper

Who You Should Date: INTP, INFP

10. INTJ: The Scientist

Everything is planned with you. You value intelligence and standards, and want to adhere to the things you value. But because of your scientific view of the world, you can forget to express yourself in ways that others can understand. If you can keep that in check, you can amount to great things.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Self-confident
  • Takes relationship seriously
  • Good listener
  • Embraces conflict instead of fearing it
  • Intelligent
  • Able to easily move on from a relationship when it’s over

Your Weaknesses:

  • Often insensitive
  • Tends to approach conflict without enough emotion
  • Perfectionist to a fault
  • Tendency to keep part of you to yourself, especially your feelings

Who You Should Date: ENTP, ENFP

11. ENTP: The Visionary

Your acute intuitiveness makes you “The Visionary.” You’re a great conversationalist, witty, and quick on your toes. You can basically go anywhere and talk to anyone, and completely hold your own. You love to debate, which can make for interesting first dates. You’re also obsessive and can focus on small details that, in the long run, you’ll find were a total waste of time. But being as well-rounded as you are, you tend to get along with a lot of different personality types.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Upbeat and charming
  • Into self-improvement for both yourself and your relationship
  • Great communicator
  • Laid-back and flexible
  • Looks at the grand scheme and big picture
  • Commitment-oriented
  • Can easily move on from failed relationships

Your Weaknesses:

  • Easily excited by new things (including people)
  • Tends to not follow through on your plans
  • Argumentative
  • Has a hard time managing money
  • Tends to bail on relationships when it looks like there’s no longer room for growth

Who You Should Date: ESFJ, ENFJ, ISFJ, INTF, INFJ

12. INTP: The Thinker

You don’t want to lead or control, and put intellect above all else. Since you are so much of a thinker, having intimate relationships can be tricky for you. You’re likely to offer lots of the world of science, but not so much to the world of love.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Childlike in love for others
  • Willingness to defer
  • Easily excited and interested
  • Creative, with a great imagination
  • Can handle conflict with ease

Your Weaknesses:

  • Doesn’t respond to others’ emotional needs quickly
  • Not very practical
  • Struggles with expressing feelings and emotions
  • Tendency to ignore conflict instead of deal with it
  • Distrusts others
  • Has a hard time leaving bad relationships

Who You Should Date: ENTJ, ENFJ

13. ENFJ: The Giver

You have amazing people skills, and can slip into any social situation with ease. Your need to be there for others makes you a very supportive partner, but because you give so much of yourself you require alone time that you don’t take as often as you should. You’re basically a love bug who wants to give and give until there’s nothing left, a la The Giving Tree.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Good communication skills
  • Perceptive of others' feelings and emotions
  • Brings out the best in people
  • Fun to be around
  • Affectionate and loyal
  • Great with money

Your Weaknesses:

  • Tendency to be controlling, manipulate, and smothering
  • Critical of those who differ from you
  • Stubborn and not willing to deal with conflict
  • Tendency to be inappropriate in social situations (although you’re rarely aware of it)

Who You Should Date: INFP, INTP

14. INFJ: The Protector

As “The Protector,” you have caring in the bag, and as an intuitive person, you know exactly where to direct that caring. You not only want to protect, but also to nurture the people you love. You believe in constantly growing, making you a perfectionist who wants to invest in the long run. You will make for a phenomenal parent.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Sensitive and warm
  • Completely devoted to having the best relationship possible
  • Seeks out long-term relationships
  • Good listener
  • Easily able to move on from a relationship once you know it’s over

Your Weaknesses:

  • Tendency to keep parts of yourself under lock and key
  • Difficulty finding the strength to leave a bad relationship
  • High expectations for those around you (sometimes a strength, too)

Who You Should Date: ENFP, ENTP, INTJ

15. ENFP: The Inspirer

As "The Inspirer," you're devoted and caring, seeing and inspiring the potential in everything and everyone. But beware: an ENFP "gone wrong" can be trouble. Your talent and ability to talk to anyone puts you in the position of being able to easily manipulate, which can make for a mess of a relationship, if you don't stay away from that part of your personality.

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Good communication skills
  • Perceptive of others' thoughts and needs
  • Brings out the best in others
  • Affectionate and warm
  • Great sense of humor, positive, and full of energy
  • Loyal, and wants to be there for others

Your Weaknesses:

  • Not very realistic
  • Becomes bored easily
  • Prone to smothering others
  • A perfectionist
  • Tendency to dislike conflict and criticism

Who You Should Date: INFJ, INTJ

16. INFP: The Idealist

Because you’re “The Idealist,” you want to make the world a better place at all costs. You’re laid-back until someone threatens your values, and you’re better at expressing your emotions on paper than verbally. (This probably makes you quite the gifted love letter writer.)

Your Strengths In Relationships:

  • Sensitive to others’ needs and genuinely caring
  • Loyal, committed, and wants to meet the needs of others
  • Supportive and encouraging
  • Loves deeply
  • Strives for “win-win” scenarios
  • Expressive
  • Flexible

Your Weaknesses:

  • Tendency to be shy and reserved
  • Needs a lot of space and ample alone time
  • Tendency to let emotions rule stressful situations
  • Needs praise and affirmation from others
  • Tendency to blame others for your issues
  • Difficulty leaving bad relationships
  • Dislikes and avoids conflict and criticism

Who You Should Date: ENFJ, ENTF

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