Although Fred Phelps, founder of the Westboro Baptist Church, died over a year ago, the notorious anti-gay group's hateful quest unfortunately surges on. The Topeka, Kansas-based church, famous for spouting hateful, homophobic slurs with great zeal, is apparently active not just with handmade signs IRL. Now Phelps' daughter, Shirley Phelps-Roper, has taken on the prestigious role of YouTube troll, leaving horribly mean comments on a video from a gay male vlogger. Riyadh K, however, took the damning promises with a fistful of salt and did what any confident, badass vlogger would: he called Shirley Phelps-Roper to discuss the finer points of her argument and ask how he can get into heaven.
Riyadh first caught Phelps-Roper on the horn (who knew she was that easy to ring up?), at which point he promptly asked her about her comment on the video featuring his mother reading Grindr messages. She screams the same slur with such repetition, it's clear this woman is unhinged. Phelps-Roper asserts that no matter what Riyadh does to "fix his life," he is still doomed to spend eternity crackling away in the depths of Hell—and then she hangs up. However, Riyadh keeps cool and calls back to leave an inquisitive voicemail. How, he queries, can he actually remedy this and get Phelps-Roper's god back in his corner?
What would it take to get into heaven? Among the antidotes to his "sinful" sexuality, Riyadh proposes:
Burning all his Lady Gaga CDs
Reasonable, as Lady Gaga seems to have assumed a culturally-appointed place as patron saint for tolerance and love—truly the opposite of the Westboro motto.
Assuming a career in a "manly" field
As a carpenter (like Jesus!), mechanic, plumber, etc. Surely that'd help?
Wearing only cargo pants until he dies
All those pockets for man tools!
It is too rich. Riyadh hits the nail on the head and highlights the true absurdity. Check it out:
Wonder if she called back? I hope not. I don't want to live in a world where Riyadh isn't allowed to perform flawless T. Swift lip syncing sessions.
Images: Elvert Barnes/Flickr; Riyadh K/YouTube; Giphy (3)
