Janet & Gamble's Fight On 'The Real Housewives Of Melbourne' Captivates Some Random Bar Patrons

Let me get this straight, I thought to myself as I read about this Thursday’s The Real Housewives of Melbourne before the episode aired. Are you telling me Gamble has a sister named Tempest who gets in the middle of the Gamble/Janet drama tornado? The drama storm? The drama TEMPEST? Hey, RHOMelb? You’re perfect, have a great summer, keep in touch, never change.

On Thursday night's episode, Gamble invited Janet, Pettifleur, and Gina to an art gallery party. Before the gala, they drank champagne in a hotel room. Gamble let the others know that they would be meeting her sister at the party. She filled them in about her sister’s future cosmetic surgery plans, but she did not warn them about Tempest’s wrath.

She didn’t warn them that within seconds of meeting the Housewives, Tempest would confront Janet about the stripper/call girl/sex party rumors. The polite introductions, as Janet said, "went from zero to 100 in about five seconds." One moment, Tempest was laughing about eyebrow lifts or whatever, the next, she was aggressively shouting at Janet about the Gamble gossip. Janet tried to diffuse the situation and set the record straight, but the Tempest tempest continued to rage. Tempest was under the impression Janet made up the stories about Gamble. Tempest would not relent. Tempest wanted "some f**king evidence." Gamble remained silent.

Janet exited the party. She was not happy that Gamble chose to not intervene. She was not happy that Gamble allowed Tempest the tempest to continue to rampage. Gina and Gamble followed Janet. Gamble attempted to wrangle Janet and bring her back to the party, but Janet would not have it. Janet continued to walk away. Gamble and Gina continued to follow. The chase stopped in front of a bar. A very chill bar with sidewalk seating. A very chill sidewalk bar patronized by people who didn't pretend like the fight wasn't happening. Instead, they embraced the chaos and the camera crew with open arms. Three of the dudes stood up and watched. They didn't want to miss a moment of whatever hell was about to break loose. (Can't blame them.)

Like, the patrons' reactions are the most real reactions.

I would've lost my damn mind if I saw a Melbourne Housewives fight happen in real life. Those pub patrons are so lucky.

After this beautiful moment, Gamble said it. She said the line that made me laugh even harder than when Pettifleur described a gorgeous fluffy white feline as “a massive cat that was totally overfed.” In a talking head, Gamble called the sidewalk melee “a really feral moment.”

I do not use the word “feral” nearly enough. It really is a shame, because it is a very useful, descriptive word.

It's settled: Next time some jerkwad cuts me off in traffic, I will not shout expletives. I will shout "THAT WAS REALLY FERAL BEHAVIOR." Can't wait to give it a whirl!

Images: Martin Philbey/Bravo; Bravo (3)