What's The Best Way To Deal With An OkCupid Date Flaking? How To Handle Being Ghosted, Because Treating Yourself Will Make You Feel #Blessed
First off, if you are going on an OkCupid date, huge props to you. That takes a special kind of self-confidence and bravery that not a lot of people possess. Going on a date with someone you've met before is already stressful enough, so going on a date with someone you have yet to meet in person is even more nerve-racking. And while any date could ghost on you at any time, the distance that exists at the beginning of online dating may cause your date to feel like ditching you is really easy and not that big of a deal. That shouldn't deter you from using the site, but it might mean you should be extra prepared to deal with that type of disappointment. But how do you handle an online date going MIA?Since you'll be all dressed up with nowhere to go if your date does leave you hanging, one of the most obvious fixes would be to call up some of your friends and see if they want to go out with you instead. But since your clique could be unavailable and you are a self-sufficient woman, it might be smart to plan for first dates at locations where you can still enjoy yourself solo style, regardless of the no-show scrub who tried to dim your ~inner light~. With that in mind, here are seven things to do when your OkCupid date is absent:
1. Treat yourself
Why does our culture have such a stigma against dining alone? If you were supposed to meet your date at a restaurant for dinner but they chose to act a fool, that doesn't necessarily mean you have to forget about the meal you'd been planning for yourself. You've gotta eat regardless and you deserve to be waited on after having your precious time wasted. If you were already going to spend the money, treat yourself to that blooming onion 'cause you're an independent woman. Plus, there's always take-out if you really don't want to eat at the restaurant by yourself.
2. "Find Yourself" at an art museum
Honestly, if you have to get stood up on a date, it might be kinda cool for it to happen at a museum. You're already there and you already have time blocked out in your schedule. Why deny yourself an opportunity to bask in art, history, and all kinds of beauty just because your date didn't appreciate your beauty?
Some of the most enjoyable, productive, and thoughtful days that I have spent by myself were spent wandering exhibits and writing in a museum's gardens and grounds. Have you seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off? The answer should be yes, but if you don't know what I'm talking about, there is a scene where the main characters are at the Chicago Art Institute. While Ferris and Sloane are off being in love at another exhibit, Cameron gravitates toward Georges Seurat’s A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte. The scene has no dialogue but an instrumental version of The Smiths' "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want" plays throughout the montage. While Cameron stares at the painting, he becomes overwhelmed and fascinated by the impossibly small details that create the art in its entirety, resulting in one of the movie's most famous and profound scenes. THIS COULD BE YOUR LIFE.
3. Read a good book
A cafe is always a safe space to have a first date with someone you've only met online. It's casual and super populated should you start feeling unsafe or uncomfortable. Plus, it's really easy to go about your day no matter who let you down when you're just chillin' with a latte and a good book. There are so many incredible books in this world, and it's devastatingly impossible to read every single one. Keep a page-turner in your bag on a first date, just in case worse comes to worse, and then feel #blessed for having this chance to read that novel you've been meaning to start. Some would even argue that book is better than a partner. ;-)
4. Find someone new?
Bars are not always the most enjoyable places to spend time alone, so I don't blame you for calling it a night if your date ghosted you there. This could be a great time to text your friends to see if they want to join you for a drink. But you're also looking good and had been prepared to flirt, so maybe you'll be in the mood to strike up a conversation with an attractive stranger and forget all about that joker who turned out to be the best thing you never had. (No pressure though)
5. Dance like no one is watching
Maybe the bar where you were supposed to meet your date has great music or a cool local band playing. You're feeling blue, and I think it's about time you danced it out.
6. Don't hate the player, play the game
Adult arcades are super fun, so it might be kind of awesome to plan a date there. That way, if you end up on your own, you can take out your frustration by racing cars or shooting zombies and then win yourself your own damn prize 'cause no one takes better care of you than YOURSELF.
7. Bingewatch away your sorrows
Getting stood up sucks. If you just wanna go home, get into your pajamas, and watch that episode of Broad City where Abbi gets her wisdom teeth taken out for the 26th time, I support you in all your endeavors.Images: Georgie Paulwels/Flickr; Giphy (7)