A Giant Stone Penis Randomly Appeared In England

Recently, a giant penis made of stones appeared on Leckhampton Hill, England, so if you thought the only notable rock formation in England was Stonehenge, then you've got another thing coming. (GET IT? "Coming"?! Not sorry.) Was it similar to the size of an average penis? Not so much. Its purpose is entirely unknown, though I'd like to think it's aimed at raising HIV awareness around the world, but we'll get to my speculations later. For now, let's run down the dirty details for all the phallic fans out there who might want to track this rock formation down.

Leckhampton Hill is about 100 miles northwest of London, right near Gloucester. If you're a tourist, you can make a pit stop while heading to Shakespeare's birthplace, as it's only 30 miles from Stratford-on-Avon. I'm no tour guide; I'm just making suggestions based on Google maps discoveries. I have to say when I woke up this morning, I didn't think I'd be navigating the proximity between Shakespeare's birthplace and a giant penis. Life really is full of beautiful surprises, am I right?

The last time these rocks on Leckhamptom Hill were arranged in weird formations, it was for a marriage proposal. That's right, that real cute mess actually happened: Oliver Wright proposed to Kelly Aldridge by arranging stones at Leckhamptom Hill. It's adorable and I highly recommend you check it out and pass the video along to your significant other, if only to hint at a European vacation together.

Without further ado (I used "ado" because I'm feeling particularly British right now), here's the giant penis. Please note, that it appears to be ejaculating the letters, "SOS." The image was tweeted by Tim Cooper, a British gent who's about to double his Twitter following.

I mentioned early that we'd circle back to my speculations, and circle we have. So here you have it, A Speculative List of What The Heck The Architect Of This Penis Was Doing:

  1. Making an unconventional attempt to send an SOS because they want out of their relationship because their significant other isn't good in bed.
  2. Two best friends, both artists, gathered to make abstract art on Leckhampton Hill to rival to Stonehenge. They went in two very different directions.
  3. The artist was trying to out do the Washington Monument and the Eiffel Tower in terms of phallic monuments.
  4. The architect recently watched the How I Met Your Mother episode where Ted Mosby has to design a penis shaped building, and felt such a kinship to Josh Radnor that he had to express it by making a penis shaped rock formation.

I mean, that's probably it. It's pretty easy to feel a kinship with Shmosby.

Or maybe the artist wanted to design a literal interpretation of the Rihanna song, "SOS."

I would've preferred a literal interpretation of "Only Girl" or "Umbrella," but hey, we can't win 'em all.

Images: Getty Images; Giphy