There's a special place reserved in Hair Heaven for women with bangs. (Or if you prefer to call them "fringe" as the British do, that's okay, too.) In my opinion, they are pretty much the best hair feature you could ever have. Need to add a little pizzazz to that hairdo? Voila! Bangs are the answer. Have a particularly large forehead? Don't worry, bangs are perfect for you. (And I'm kinda jealous.) Need to hide those pesky forehead pimples? Bangs will do it even when your face wash can't.
Somewhere along the way in our human history, an amazing woman thought to cut her hair to frame her face, and as for her, I am forever in debt. Although I've had my fair share of time spent without my trusty bangs, they have, for the most part, been my best hair friend and a signature to my look. I've even gotten so good at cutting them myself (because we all know cutting good bangs is a freakin' art form) that I'll probably never have anyone else cut them for me again. Also, there are so many ways you can wear bangs, which allow for endless hair tweaks in the course of just a few months.
Nevertheless, here are seven things, as a bang-wearer, that I am officially tired of hearing.
1. "Aren't you afraid you look like a little girl?"
No, actually, I'm not. Because, sorry to bust your bubble, but bangs are not only reserved for little girls in cute spring dresses. Yes, of course, I had them as a child — but I'm not a child anymore. So unless someone finds the fountain of youth and I drink way more than I'm supposed to, I'm pretty sure I'll never look like a little girl ever again. Thanks.
2. "I love your Zooey Deschanel look."
Okay, I know Zooey is like one of the best when it comes to wearing bangs, but I promise I have been wearing bangs since before Zooey Deschanel's were a thing. Also, I don't have dark hair, k?
3. "You remind me of Jenny Lewis or Florence Welch."
Right, well at least you got the hair color correct this time.
4. "Doesn't it bother you that they get all greasy?"
What, like the whole rest of my head? That's why I wash it. And on the days when I don't need to wash the rest of my head, I use dry shampoo. So unless you don't keep yourself clean, I don't see what the problem is.
5. "Do you listen to indie music?"
Well, yes, I do. But what does that have to do with my bangs? Okay, I do actually understand this one a little. But it's still a pretty huge generalization and lots of girls without bangs listen to indie music, too.
6. "You're lucky you have the right face shape."
While I understand that there are certain face shapes better suited to certain types of bangs, aren't we at the point in fashion where as long as you like it, it doesn't matter what your face shape is? IMO, if you're holding out on bangs because of your face shape, but you want to try them, the only thing really holding you back is your own fear. I don't even have a clue if I have the right face shape for them — I just do it anyway.
7. "Your hair is in your face."
I usually only get this one when I'm wearing my bangs a little longer and maybe swooping them over to the side of my face. And granted, it's probably only something I've heard from my mother or a motherly figure, but it's nonetheless annoying. I'm quite aware that my hair is falling in my eyes a little and I need to get it out of the way from time to time, but hey, what is a little style without a bit of sacrifice? Plus, I look more mysterious this way.
Images: Author's Own; Giphy