Entertainment

More Hilarity Would Ensue After 'Mean Girls' Ended

by Mallory Carra

Like most people who were alive during 2004, Mean Girls is one of my favorite movies of all time. It's so hilarious, so true, and so, well, fetch (which still hasn't happened yet — sorry Gretchen). Since I love this movie and its world so much, I've often wondered what would Mean Girls be like after the credits rolled? If you remember (or can recite by memory, like me and most millennial), Cady Heron (played by Lindsay Lohan) declared, "At last, Girl World was at peace." So, what may have happened after that? And don't say Mean Girls 2, because for the purposes of this, I'm ignoring that a sequel/spin-off/terrible knock-off TV movie exists of such a classic.

I really doubt that Girl World would've stayed at peace for long, because in my experience, it never does. By senior year, these gals will be at it again, but not necessarily at war with new Plastics — that would be too derivative and predictable, wouldn't it? I have a feeling each of our favorite members of The Plastics — Regina George, Gretchen Weiners, Karen Smith, and Cady, too — must face new drama in their new cliques. Because that's just the way high school works.

Cady Heron

As senior year begins, Cady's confident she's got high school politics down. The one thing she didn't expect to deal with? College politics. Her boyfriend Aaron is going to Northwestern now, and this is where she starts to realize college is a whole different ballgame, no matter how how close his college is to her high school in proximity.

Like most couples split between high school and college, they begin to grow apart — she's trying to perfect her Northwestern application, ace her AP classes, and lead the Mathletes to a repeat championship, and Aaron is rushing a frat, drinking his weight in beer, and still failing math. When Cady goes to Evanston for an interview, she helps him some more with his college math class, but soon realizes he's been sexting with a bunch of sorority girls. He only admits to hooking up with a few of them.

Sadly by the end of the trip, Cady completely reconsiders applying to Northwestern. Instead, she focuses her energies on MIT's math program — and she gets in.

Regina George

At the end of the film, Regina had recovered from her injuries from getting hit by that bus and joined the lacrosse. Her aggressive energy is definitely better channeled there — and against North Shore High School's bitter lacrosse rivals. Regina is tough on the field and even tougher against the school's rivals, and her popularity on the team gets her named captain. So this time, it's not just two other gals following her every move — it's an entire team. And it makes Regina so happy.

The team enters the playoffs with a perfect record and not a single loss all season. But the playoffs are the hardest part and not to mention several colleges — University of Maryland, University of North Carolina, Boston College — have their eye on recruiting Regina to their teams. The pressure is on. All the recruiters attend the one semifinal match where Regina misses a game-winning shot. Pissed off with her team — but mostly herself — she quits lacrosse and never plays again.

Gretchen Weiners

Gretchen totally fit in with the "Cool Asians" clique and picked up Mandarin at an impressive pace. But soon, she began feeling a bit leftout and started having flashbacks to when Cady made her feel left out of Regina's affections. Gretchen realizes this when she doesn't get invited to the clique's Chinese New Year party ("You hate dragons and drums," they theorize), or the Mooncake Festival party ("You said Mooncakes make you feel fat," they tell her), or the Ching Ming Festival, in which Chinese families visit cemeteries and pay respects to their ancestors — and this is when the clique has to break it to her that Gretchen isn't Chinese.

Gretchen gets so confused. If she isn't a Plastic, or a Cool Asian, then what is she? She goes on a journey of the soul — a.k.a. a yoga retreat — and realizes who she really is: A yogi. She decides to apply for yoga college in California.

Karen Smith

Karen has always had a passion for weather and Taco Bell. At the end of Mean Girls, she joined the school news broadcast, where she felt her boobs as a way to tell whether or not it was raining (her talent). But what she didn't anticipate was all the drama involved with journalism.

During senior year, she decided to go from weather girl to anchorwoman, but the competition is fierce. A whole other set of Plastics exist in the broadcast journalism world, and they all face off for the prime(time) spot at the anchor's desk. In the end, Karen gets it. Not because she has the best pants suit or the most composure, but because she was able to cover a robbery at the Taco Bell near the school, where she likes to eat Dorito Tacos at lunch. Sometimes it's just a matter of being at the right place at the right time.

Images: MeanGirls/Facebook; Giphy (4)