How Old Is Tommen On 'Game of Thrones'? Young Enough To Deal WIth (Or Know Someone Dealing With) These 9 Pre-Teen Struggles
Being 13 years old is kind of the worst. It doesn't matter who you are or where you live, you will not have a good time at this age. Most of us won't have a good time until age 16, but one miserable struggle at a time. The newest holder of the Iron Throne on Game of Thrones, Tommen, is just 13 years old when he first becomes king. Joffrey was brutally (but justifiably) murdered using poison at his own wedding, and his grandfather was just shot while on the toilet by his uncle. Things around King's Landing have been... tense. His only moments of solace take place when Margaery brushes his hand or when Ser Pounce is purring in his lap.
So while Tommen is going through all of that madness (oh, AND his mother is an incestuous psycho), it's hard not to think about your own hard times as a 13-year-old. You probably just escaped the days of practicing cursive and being forced to share with others and life is surprisingly about to get worse. Obviously it's nowhere near as messy as what Tommen has to deal with, but it was still pretty rough. Here are all the things that sucked for normal, non-Lannister humans at age 13.
1. Your Hormones Were Losing Their G-D Minds
Everything is intense, everything is the end of the world, and everything is forever and amazing. You are pretty much always confused and frustrated and OMG-excited at the same time. The reason Romeo and Juliet is part of your classwork at this age is because this is only time in life when you can understand and relate to two people experiencing a level of love at first sight that they are willing to end their lives for love. Because at any other age, this is complete malarkey.
2. You Probably Just Got Your First Period
So you've been graced with the honor of bleeding for a week straight, once a month, until you hit 50-60 years old. To avoid leaving a red trail in your wake, you get the option of wearing what feels like a diaper, or a mysterious absorbent swab stick that you have to insert without ever actually seeing it. WTF. This is a nightmare.
3. Everyone Just Became An A-hole
If you're 13, you're in middle school, so that means everyone you know just learned how access their inner jerk. This is when the Regina George's of the world figure out how to say things like, "So you agree... you think you're really pretty." And they say it in a way that completely obliterates any shred of self confidence you've ever had.
4. Your Body Is Changing At A Rapid Pace
Oh cool, acne. Oh cool, body hair. Oh cool, sweat everywhere when you're not even working out. When did these big boobs arrive? Did the boob fairy grace me with her presence while I was asleep? WHAT. IS. HAPPENING.
5. It Seems Like Nobody "Gets" You
The only people who seem to understand what you're going though are pop stars. Their lyrics contain all the feels.
6. Your Parents Don't Understand How Hard You've Got It
I mean, what do they know? Do they even remember what it's like to be a teenager? It happened for them like... 30 years ago? Life is so much harder now. Ugh.
7. You Were Still Three Years Away From Being Able To Drive
Freedom. Unsupervised adventures. Independence. It's all so far away.
8. You Just Got Really Good At Criticizing Yourself
Wait, so I'm not pretty? I need to go on a diet? I'll never amount to anything? Everyone hates me? Tell me more, inner monster.
9. You Have No Idea What You Wanna Be When You Grow Up
This is when people really start encouraging you to make a decision even though YOU HAVEN'T EVEN LIVED YET. What experiences can you use to make an informed decision about your professional path? Some of your friends might know what they want to be, because some humans know the moment they're born, but you have no idea. And spoiler alert: most adults don't know either, so it'll all turn out OK.
Image: Macall B. Polay/courtesy of HBO; Giphy (9)