I Used 'The Bachelor' Quotes On Tinder & No, I Didn't Find My Prince Farming
The interesting thing about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is that the conversations between people tend to go one of three ways: they're either super sexual, super over-the-top romantic, or super random. So what better way to pay homage to all the silly limo exit lines and cheesy one-on-one date talk than by using Bachelor quotes on Tinder to try to pick up men?
I gathered all my favorite Bachelor and Bachelorette lines from over the years and got ready to talk to some unsuspecting Tinder matches. I set my search to all men from ages 18-50 within a hundred miles of me, and swiped right on 50 matches. About 20 of them accepted my profile, and we began talking.
Here's what I learned: you can say basically anything to a guy and he will respond. I talked about aliens, marriage, kids, sex, onions, sunflower fields, and more. And you know what? They just kept answering me back no matter how nuts I seemed. Explains a lot about the show, huh? No wonder the Bachelor doesn't always send home the people you think are there for the wrong reasons.
Here's how my attempt at being the Bachelorette on Tinder went.
Images: Rick Rowell/ABC; Martha Sorren/Tinder (17)
I used the photo that is in my Bustle bio (because I look cute, obvi), and picked the perfect Bachelor quote for my description. Now bring on those Mr. Rights and their roses!
Clearly we were trolling each other here. Kevin actually won this one, because his is the only conversation I gave up on. I just don’t care enough about ogres.
I honestly don’t understand how throwing out talk of marriage within, like, four minutes didn’t end our conversation. I don’t even let Tinder guys see my Instagram, let alone talk about getting married.
We can all thank Juan Pablo for this gem, “I like the words you use. Words in general. Words that you use, how you speak. So proper.”
Brock Part 2
“Then the convo ended and randomness began.” That might be the best description of Ashley S. I’ve seen.
Self promotion is the definition of being there for the wrong reasons.
This opening line didn’t really have the effect Kaitlyn or I wanted.
How dare you respond to my message with a copy/pasted pick up line of your own?? And, yes, that’s a no.
This conversation got very existential. Had we been on The Bachelor, I think I would have gotten a rose; he seemed to like what I had to say.
Sure, let me just mark that down in my calendar.
Pro tip: if someone ever tells you they’re “only kind of a stalker,” stop talking to them.
Jacob Part 2
I felt kind of bad for Jacob, because he genuinely seemed to be trying to cheer me up.
Jacob Part 3
I couldn’t believe this dude was still talking to me at this point. But mention of marriage and kids aside, he was still along for the ride.
Jacob Part 4
Petition for this guy to be the next Bachelor, because he seems to have no conversational deal breakers and would clearly keep all the most interesting ladies on for awhile.
Oh, you asked me a question? Too bad, because I’m going to move onto the next topic, and you’re apparently not going to call me on that.
Bart Part 2
I am hard to read, Bart. That’s because I’m using Bachelor quotes from Juan Pablo, Victoria Lima, Kaitlyn Bristowe, and many others in the same conversation.
Bart Part 3
But then I felt bad because this guy wasn’t going to get anywhere with me, so I came clean. Then the real best part of the conversation happened. Imagine if we ended up dating and getting married. That might be the only meet-up story weirder than meeting on The Bachelor.