There's nothing quite like The Bachelor. No offense to Dancing With The Stars, or the Fall season which it insists on occupying, but those couple of months are painful. At that point, we've been through a cycle of The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor in Paradise, and we're forced to wait through Derek Hough's incredibly choreography (not the worst consolation prize, but still) until we can get back to the nonsense world in which Bachelor Nation resides. Sure, we all get up in arms every time one of these reality personalities does something we don't like, but be honest: You know you love to get angry at this show. And I've got the Bachelor Season 19 quotes to prove it.
Luckily for Bachelor fans, Chris Soules season delivered big time on the hate-watch side of things, even getting Jimmy Kimmel in on the joke both on the show and during his own recap post- Bachelor on Jimmy Kimmel Live. It was everything this show needed: The dose of sarcasm that we all carry with us on this side of the screen.
But while Kimmel is responsible for some of the best quotes this season, it's impossible not to recognize the ones that came a little more naturally... from the mouths of the poor souls dating for our viewing pleasure. These are the Bachelor's best quotes this season:
The Time Megan Wanted To Give Everyone WTMI
“I’m shaking, I wish everyone could feel my insides right now.” -Megan
The Time Kaitlyn Was A Badass Right Out Of The Limo
“You could plow my field any day” -Kaitlyn
When Mackenzie Freaked Us All Out With One Question
"The fact that she's talking about aliens on the first date does raise a few red flags for me” - Chris
When Chris' Compliments Got a Little Too Hyperbolic
“To the most beautiful blue eyes in North America.” -Chris to Megan
That Time Kaitlyn Broke Out The "Crazy"
“Is that staged? … I’m here to tell you, that is real. Ashley S. is a crazy girl on The Bachelor.” - Kaitlyn
And When Chris Danced Around The Crazy
“Something has… gotten into [Ashley S.'s] head.” -Chris
When Ashley S. Defied Them And Was Simply Amazing
“Who do you think’s getting a rose tonight?” -Other Women
[Mocking] “Who do you think is getting a rose? Oh I don't know, maybe an angel.” -Ashley S.
The Time Carly Got Weird About Chris. Really Weird.
“I want him to be like my grandpa” -Carly
When Kelsey Was The Meanest. And Also No Fun At All.
“This is a date for bimbos” -Kelsey while camping
When Carly Redeemed Herself At The Wedding Dress Mud Run
“I think I gave up after the big balls because then I was offended.” -Carly
When Chris Wasn't Listening, But Accidentally Delivered This Beautiful Image
“As Jillian’s words flow over my head I begin to think of unicorns and dancing fairies” -Chris
When Jimmy Kimmel Spoke The Freaking Truth
"God named [Chris] the Bachelor and his divine mission is to have a lot of sex" - Jimmy Kimmel
When Chris Used a Gross Phrase To Brag About Making Out With One Of His Girlfriends
“We are not doing anything having to do with English right now. It’s more like french” -Chris
When Chris Got Gross About Someone Getting A Little Unclothed
“And I saw her out of her shell. Completely out of her shell.” -Chris
And When Kelsey Got Even Meaner About Ashley I.
“She’s a Kardashian who didn’t get to go on her princess date.” -Kelsey
And When Kelsey Made Everyone Feel Entitled To Be Really Mean To Her
“My story is amazing.” -Kelsey
When Carly Got Too Darn Mean For Her Own Good
In a chipmunk voice: “Hi, I’m Britt and I’m a liar.” -Carly's hand puppet
Whoa, When Kaitlyn Was Really Fed Up With Ashley S.
“Hi my name is Ashley S. and I’m blonde and I like ponies and I am bats—t crazy.” -Kaitlyn
Finally, When Chris Received His Favorite Present Ever From Ashley S.
[Pointing to onion] “This is the best gift I have ever received” -Chris Harrison
And with that, I say, farewell, Bachelor Season 19. You were... well, you were something.
Images: David Moir/ABC; Giphy (19)
