What if I told you that you should learn how to love your saggy boobs? What if I told you that it was definitely possible? In a cleavage-obsessed world that offers "firming" creams, push-up bras, and in which the term "breast lift" is mainstream, it's understandable that you've been sent the message that boobs are only attractive the firmer and higher those babies are. I mean, television and movies are full of jokes about saggy breasts and how unattractive or strange they are. And we equate saggy boobs to being old — something that we are also (very wrongly) told is unattractive.
So those of us with saggy boobs invest in some serious push-up bras, do some chest exercises, make sure to moisturize, use special creams, or even start to save for plastic surgery like an "internal bra" implant. Or maybe we heave a defeated sigh and try and "distract" from our chest by showing off the other parts of our body that we love. Hating your body or just hating an aspect of it is common and, unfortunately, normal. But there's gotta be a better way, y'all.
My boobs have always been on the bigger side. I've been in a bra since I was 11 years old and eventually, something that heavy just sort of hanging out on the middle of my chest was gonna sag. I even weighed them on a fruit scale one night in a deserted grocery store — they weigh about a pound and a half each. Anyways, my boobs are big but also naturally a bit saggy. When I'd see some uncovered breasts on TV or in a movie (ahem, Wedding Crashers' boob montage), I'd get a little sad. My boobs never looked like that — ever. And I realized that they never would.
Sure, I could be sad about my boobs for all of eternity, or I could focus on how they make me (and my dude) happy. I bet you can guess which option I've chosen — to enjoy the jubblies I've been given, of course. Here are just 11 reasons I love my saggy boobs, and why you should love yours, too!
1. You Can't Fight Gravity
Seriously, if you have ever seen a "fail" video, you know that what comes up must go down. Gravity is gonna drag those babies down and there's nothing you can do about it! You can't fight science, so you might as well just love 'em.
2. What A Good Excuse To Buy Some Super-Cute Bras!
While you don't need to wear a bra if you don't want to, I know that unsupported boobs can hurt — especially when they're heavy! Uh, are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you gotta support 'em, you might as well get some super-cute lingerie.
3. Swinging Them Like Pendulums Is A Pretty Good Time
Ever lean over forward and just let 'em swing? It's really fun. Seriously, you better try that tonight when you get home and take off your bra.
4. You're Not Just Waiting For Your Perkiness To Fade
Remember gravity? Yeah, it's gonna get your boobs, and everyone else's, sooner or later. Unless you choose to change them with surgery, they're sagging eventually. You just got it over with sooner and now get the opportunity to bond with your forever breasts.
5. Your Boobs Cover More Surface Area
Your saggy boobs take up more space on your chest. MORE BOOB. Boobs are generally great, so therefore more boob space can only be a good thing!
6. They Make Lying Down Extra Comfy
When you lay on your back or your side, you don't have to worry about them trying to strangle you in your sleep or hurting from having to be suspended sideways. They have more mobility, so they settle into a cozy spot real quick.
7. They're So Fun To Squeeze And Hold
Touching your own boobs = fun. Sure, giving your chest a little squeeze is always satisfying, but when you can juggle 'em, jiggle 'em, and swing 'em around? That's just fun.
8. Humans Really Love Boobs
If someone's getting close enough to you to see and hold your boobs, then they're going to be excited about them. Period. Your boobs are awesome because they're boobs.
9. They Give Your Sexual Partners A Little Something To Hold On To
Whether it's doing it doggie-style or good old missionary, saggy boobs tend to give a lil' extra skin for playing with and stabilizing. Want to try out some super adventurous positions? Saggy boobs are the perfect handhold.
10. They Make Really Cute Shadows On The Wall
Am I the only one who likes to check out my body via a silhouette on the wall? Surely I can't be. Checking out your curves and shape in a shadow on the wall can give you a totally new appreciation for your bod. Saggy boobs have the cutest little curve to them in a side profile shadow.
11. They're Yours!
You should totally love your saggy boobs because they're yours. I mean, they're attached to your body (unless you are surgically removing them). Life's gonna be a lot easier and probably nicer if you're not actively hating your body. Your boobs are yours, make peace with them!
Images: Author's Own; Giphy