Molly Schuyler Ate 13 Pounds Of Steak In Less Than An Hour, So Treat Yourself To Seconds Tonight — VIDEO

I had some serious competitive eating aspirations as a child. Not to toot my own horn, but I could REALLY put away nachos. I didn't exactly have my sights set on Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, which is pretty much the Olympics of eating, but still. Molly Schuyler, on the other hand, is on a whole other level. She's 120 pounds and is, you guessed it, a competitive eater. She turnt up the competitive eating scene in 2012 and is still going strong. What's the latest news on her? Molly Schuyler is now the woman who ate 13 pounds of steak in less than an hour. Yeah. You can't do that. Let me just clear that up right now. You? You can't do what Molly Schuyler did.

And stick with me here, because the story gets even meatier. (Not sorry for that pun.) Molly took the Big Texan Steak Challenge by storm when she ate not one steak dinner, but three. Most competitors take the entire allotted hour and only eat 72 ounces of steak. Molly tripled that, consuming 216 ounces of steak (over 13 pounds of meat) in under an hour. She also downed the fixins—shrimp cocktail, baked potato, salad and a buttered roll. And she beat out four other competitive eating teams, which included professional wrestlers, football players and a married competitive eating team. She is the real deal.

Molly is in her mid-thirties and is the mother of four children. She signed with All Pro Eating, an independent competitive eating league and is in the prime of her career. Here's the best part: according to her Facebook page, she's currently ranked as the #1 female competitive eater in the world.

Watch Molly literally win at life:

Tyler Weaver on YouTube

How amazing that she said after the fact, "And I get free steak, so I really don't lose!" PREACH.

Before we finish, let's talk a look at Molly's career highlights. Baseball players have a baseball card to talk about their accomplishments, so the least we could do is give you a quick run down on what would appear on the back of Molly's Baseball card:

1. She recently set a Guinness World Record

Molly ate 5 pounds of bacon in 5 minutes. Talk about bringing home the bacon for her kids, AM I RIGHT?

2. She set a women's record at the Wing Bowl

This is the epitome of girl power. In 2014, she ate 363 wings in 30 minutes. In 2015, she came back to eat 440. She came in second because her competitor ate 444 wings. SO CLOSE, GIRL.

3. She crushed the famed Diablo Burrito Challenge

Aaron's Food Adventures on YouTube

It's the spiciest burrito in the world, and it weighs two pounds. The burrito is so hot that she has to dice it up, pour ice on it and then shovel it in with a spoon. Oh, and the ghost peppers? Not a fun treat for Molly.

4. She was the first women to finish the "Stellanator"

Caters TV on YouTube

This is actually how Molly got her start: It's an enormous burger (six hamburger patties, six eggs and more) served at a restaurant in Bellevue, Omaha. She went back to break her own record in 2014. Molly finished the burger, and also ate three more burgers, three grilled cheeses, fries and onion rings. Is this making anyone else hungry?

Images: Getty Images; MollySchuylerOmaha/Facebook