What If Hip Hop Lyrics Were More Feminist?

In today's cultural climate, there are depictions of empowering women and inspiring messages of gender equality everywhere you turn. Hip hop music is not one of those places. Though women occasionally manage to break the glass ceiling of rap music, female empowerment in hip hop is the exception and not the rule. Even more unfortunately, hip hop music can be so damn catchy. What in the world is a young feminist who loves a sick beat to do? Why, re-write the lyrics to your favorite songs and imagine what feminist hip hop would sound like, of course.

I often play this game when I'm driving in my car where I replace any offensive lyrics about females in rap and R&B songs with new, more respectable and progressive lyrics. So, for example, if you're listening to a song where the singer talks about a stripper, you might replace 'stripper' with 'lawyer' and re-arrange the lyrics to describe the trials and tribulations of the star of song as she embarks on her new legal career.

Though my lyrics might not be Grammy worthy, my process of reimagining hip hop songs makes listening to misogynistic music a little bit more bearable (and, as an added bonus, I now have a way to endlessly amuse myself during long car rides). Here are a few samples of my hilariously bad versions of rap songs that are slightly more palatable to the contemporary feminist.

"No Type" — Rae Sremmurd

Actual Lyrics:

I don't got no type, (nah)Bad b****es is the only thing that I like (woo)You ain't got no life, (nah)Cups with the ice and we do this every night (hey)I ain't check the price (I got it)I make my own money, so I spend it how I like (woo)I'm just living life (hey, hey)And let my momma tell it, I ain't living right, (yup)

Feminist Lyrics:

I don't got no type, (nah)'B****es' is an offensive term that I don't really like, (woo)We've got equal rights (yah)You're very nice and I'd never stereotype (you)You are very wise (yay knowledge)You make your own money; you're independent, which I like, (woo)I'm just living life (hey, hey)And let my momma tell it, son, you treat a lady right (yup)

"Trap Queen" — Fetty Wap

Actual Lyrics:

I'm like "hey, what's up, hello"Seen yo pretty a** soon as you came in that doorI just wanna chill, got a sack for us to rollMarried to the money, introduced her to my stoveShowed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for lowShe my trap queen, let her hit the bandoWe be countin' up, watch how far them bands goWe just set a goal, talkin' matchin' LambosGot 50, 60 grand, 500 grams thoughMan, I swear I love her how she work the damn poleHit the strip club, we be letting bands goEverybody hating, we just call them fans thoughIn love with the money, I ain't never letting go

Feminist Lyrics:

I'm like "hey, what's up, hello"

Seen yo pretty eyes soon as you came in that doorI just wanna chill, got a joke that'll make you roll (on the floor laughing)Married to the personality, introduced her to my trove (of emotions cause I'm in touch with my sensitive side)Told her she is flawless, she inspires me for sho'She my happy queen, let her make decisions and have a say-soWe be countin' up, watch how high our savings goWe just set a goal, talkin' a relationship with equal controlGot 50, 60 grand, investing in some stocks, saving for the future thoughMan, I swear I love her how she has a good soulHit the book club, we be letting our intellect growEverybody hating, we just call them fans thoughIn love with gender equality, I ain't never letting go

"I Don't Mind" — Usher featuring Juicy J

Actual Lyrics:

Shawty, I don't mind

If you dance on a pole, that don’t make you a hoShawty, I don’t mindWhen you work until three, if you’re leaving with meGo make that money, money, moneyYour money, money, moneyCause I know how it is, go and handle your bizAnd get that money, money, moneyYour money, money, moneyYou can take off your clothes, long as you coming homeGirl, I don’t mind

Feminist Lyrics:

Shawty, I don't mind

That you make make all that green, that don't emasculate me

Shawty, I don't mind

When you workin 'til three, utilizing your degree

Go make that money, money, money

Your money, money, money

Cause I know how it is, go and handle your biz

And get that money, money, money

Your money, money, money

I respect your career, ain't threatened by strong women so don't fear

Girl, I don't mind

"GDFR" — Flo Rida featuring LooKas and Sage the Gemini

Actual Lyrics:

I know what you came here to seeIf you're a freak, then ya coming home with meAnd I know what you came here to doNow bust it open let me see you get looseIt's going down for real

Feminist Lyrics:

I know what you came here to seeIf we're attracted to each other in a consensual manner, then I politely invite you to come home with me And I know what you came here to doHave some good conversation and not be objectified by men It's going down for real

"Or Nah" — Ty Dolla $ign featuring Wiz Khalifa

Actual Lyrics:

Heard you not the type that you take home to MaIs we f***ing when we leave the club or nah?I ain't spending cash for nothing I wanna see you take it offI'm-a pop this bottle, you gon' give me brain or nah?Heard you from the hood, you rep that thing or nah?Gotta lotta a**, you gon' shake that thing or nah?Heard you smoke blunts you down with paper planes or nah?I feel like I'm Tony, you my boss? I'm thinking nah

Feminist Lyrics:

Heard you not the type that you take home to Ma

Cause Ma still has antiquated notions about gender roles and would have to be eased into understanding your progressive, fluid interpretation of femininityIs we engaging in consensual sex when we leave the club or nah?I am spending cash not because I think you are a sexual object up for purchase but because I have a surplus of it and like being hospitable to new friendsI'm-a pop this bottle, would care for some champagne or nah?Heard you have a great education, you rep that thing or nah?Gotta lotta brains, you gon' dazzle me with your intellectual prowess or nah?Heard you smoke misogynists with your wit, you down to renegotiate how gender is represented in the media or nah?I feel like I'm Tony, you my boss? I'm comfortable with my masculinity so I won't be threatened if you're a strong, confident woman who is sometimes described by less progressive peers as 'bossy'