If there's one Nashville character that I expected to get hitched, well, without a hitch, it definitely wasn’t Juliette Barnes. With her diva antics, I always expected a thousand doves and a diamond bracelet for every guest at her nuptials. Now that they’re already married and parents to little Cadence, will Juliette and Avery ever have a big Nashville wedding? Really, it’s a miracle they got married at all. Things were touch-and-go there for a while, what with Juliette’s jealousy, Avery’s anger issues, and Juliette’s sleeping with Jeff Fordham last season and then not being quite sure who her baby daddy was (woops). But hey, that’s all water under the bridge now. Avery and Juliette have an adorable (if not sleep-depriving) little girl; Avery’s band with Scarlett and Gunnar, The Triple Exes, is gaining momentum; and Juliette is throwing herself headfirst back into her work.
A little part of me, though, is really upset we didn’t get to see the over-the-top wedding Juliette is totally capable of. The only wedding on the show we were even close to seeing was Rayna and Luke’s (Tim and Faith were going to be there, you guys), and that ended with Luke driving his truck through the cake. I’m still holding out hope that Juliette will get her Bridezilla moment. Just like that book The Secret tells you, I am visualizing Juliette and Avery’s wedding so that perhaps it may happen. Here are the top things I think we could expect at their nuptials.
A Queso Fountain
Chocolate fountains are for peasants. Juliette is royalty, she loved to snack while she was pregnant, and an endless stream of melted cheese calls back ever so slightly to her childhood (no shade here, I love gooey cheese).
A Taped Message From Dolly Parton
Though she was certainly invited, Dolly just couldn’t resolve her scheduling conflicts to make it to the big day. No problem, though: She recorded a special version of “I Will Always Love You” for Juliette and Avery to play during the reception.
20 Bridesmaids
Granted, Juliette doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends, but I think that she’d be the kind of bride who is just so sick and tired of being a bridesmaid that she turns the torture onto all of her pals who made her be one. Who’s wearing an ugly dress and inappropriately prom-like hair now, ladies?
A Very Grand Entrance
I’m going to bet on Avery and Juliette arriving to the reception on a carried chair like Cleopatra or on a mighty white steed. Avery, of course, will hate this.
Bourbon Flights For Every Guest
This is a country wedding, people! This choice appeals to Avery, of course, and his rugged, manly, songwriting ways.
A Duet By The Happy Couple & Assorted Friends
This is a musical wedding, so you can bet your bottom dollar that Juliette, Avery, Deacon, and, um, everyone else is going to get up and sing songs for the couple. Maybe their vows will all be in song, too.
Scarlett & Gunnar Hooking Up In The Bathroom
Weddings are romantic, and these two can’t stay away from each other. Just get back together already, OK? Will they or won’t they? They will. Do us all a favor and fall back in love.
4 Different Dresses — And A Jumpsuit
I mean, I want to have at least two changes at my eventual wedding, so, dictated by superstardom, Juliette needs five. The dresses, all in white, will be donated by the world’s best designers, and the jumpsuit will be worn at the very end of the night when the mini-cheeseburgers are coming out.
A Pet In A Dress
I know that Juliette and Avery don’t have any pets, but doesn’t she seem like the type of person to make a dog her flower girl or ring bearer? Like I said, Juliette doesn’t have very many friends, so it’s not like there are friends’ kids to do this.
Layla Grant Catching The Bouquet
Layla has proven herself to be a hungry, if not sometimes vicious, adversary, so I’d watch her during the bouquet toss. She'd be willing to known anyone out of her way for victory.
There you have it: The perfect wedding for Avery and Juliette. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just sit here and wait for my invitation.
Images: ABC/Mark Levine; Giphy (10)
