Why Orgasms Make People Spill Their Secrets

Do you ever find yourself just opening up to your partner in your post-sex bliss? Like all of a sudden, you just had sex and now you’re willing to just divulge all your secrets? Well, scientists have found that being more open after sex is actually a thing. A new study shows that orgasms aren’t just great for the sexual part of your relationship, orgasms are also important for communication. In a done by Amanda Denes, an assistant professor at the University of Connecticut, and colleagues found that people are more likely to share important positive information with their partners after having an orgasm. “Post-coital communication is likely linked to sexual and relationship satisfaction. For this reason, pillow talk may play a pivotal role in maintaining intimacy,” Denes said.

So, what’s the deal? Why do orgasms suddenly make people want to talk? You have your good ol’ friend, oxytocin to thank. Oxytocin, the “pro-social” or "love" hormone, fills the brain immediately after orgasm. The higher your oxytocin levels are, the more sense of trust you have, as well as lower levels of the stress hormone, cortisol. Because of that, you’re more likely to feel like you’re in a safe environment, so opening up to your partner won’t seem like such a scary thing.

The study also looked at the combination of alcohol and sex with communication. While alcohol does make people loose-lipped, it’s not always a good thing. Especially when it’s mixed with sex.

“Ocytocin is an ‘upper’ and alcohol is a ‘downer,’ so it’s not surprising that they have opposite effects on behavior. People who drink more alcohol on average perceive fewer benefits to disclosing information to their partners,” Tamara Afifi, co-author of the study and professor at the University of Iowa, said.

If a person fails to achieve an orgasm while under the influence of alcohol, post-sex communication will turn out negatively. As in, you drink, you have sex, and then you talk. The alcohol will make you say things to your partner that you should not have said or it will make you say things that are less important. On the other hand, for someone who’s not drinking pre-sex, they’re more likely to end up in positive conversations with their partner post-sex.

So, the next time you feel like your partner isn't opening up, try a little sex first, that might do the trick. Just stay away from the alcohol.

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