7 Things Not To Say To Someone Who Is Getting Married Young — Because Yes, They HAVE Thought This Through
A person's wedding day is kind of a big deal. It is not an appropriate time to plant doubts or toss loaded, stress-inducing questions in the direction of a couple about to take the marital plunge, especially a young couple who is about to get married. Young engaged couples have already thought about all the concerns people might want to verbalize. Just because they're young doesn't mean they're about to make a mistake, and you shouldn't assume that's the case. If things don't work out, then that's for the couple to deal with — not anyone else.
I'm not saying you shouldn't be looking out for someone you care about if you're genuinely worried they might be making a major mistake by getting married at such a young age. You absolutely should. But really, it should be one question, asked only once, and not right before the wedding. There's a time and a place for a mildly condescending question like that, even when it's asked with the best of intentions — and within a week of the big day is not it. So to avoid adding more unnecessary stress on the young couple's shoulders, here's everything they absolutely do not want to hear on or around their wedding day.
1. "What's the rush?"
When you find someone who is truly a perfect romantic match for you, it won't feel like you're rushing anything. In fact, for the couple in love, it'll feel like they've waited forever to find that person. Popping this question on a young couple is also kind of a sneakily rude way of asking, "so what's REALLY going on here, because you wouldn't be getting married this young unless something shady was happening."
2. "Are you pregnant or something?"
It's rarely appropriate to ask a woman if she's pregnant, unless you accidentally walk in on her holding a pregnancy test with a shocked expression. That's it.
You don't ask a stranger if it's a boy or girl because she "looks" pregnant.
You don't ask a friend whom you know has been trying to get pregnant if she is yet, without her bringing it up first.
And you DO NOT ask a young bride if she's only getting married because she's knocked up. It's insulting, archaic, and inappropriate in every setting.
3. "Have you really thought this through?"
Yes, they have. They've at least thought it through enough to plan the wedding, so if things don't end up working out, it's on them — not you.
4. "You know, _______ waited until she was 30 to get married, and she's really happy."
Good for her. But everyone is different, so if you're trying to suggest that your young bride should do the same right before her wedding, you're kind of being a jerk.
5. "What if 'The One' is still out there?"
Is that even a real thing? I'm not convinced there's only one person out there for each of us, because we could all drive ourselves insane searching for a perfect person when nobody on this Earth is "perfect." But regardless of whether or not it's real, this young couple is convinced that they've found the person they want to spend the rest of their life with, and you need to respect that.
6. "But what about your career?"
I'm pretty sure marital status doesn't automatically dictate the path of a career, so maybe just put that one away.
7. "Most marriages end in divorce these days. Just sayin.'"
Yup, that's true. And skin cancer statistics have gone way up, global warming is making all the polar bears homeless, and Grey's Anatomy keeps offing major characters. It's a cruel world. But it's not going to keep this young couple from getting hitched, so why even say that?