This Is How Deli Meat Is Made, And Fair Warning, It's Going To Ruin Your Entire Day — VIDEO

Do you remember what it was like when your parents told you where babies actually came from? Did you really want to know that it wasn't the stork's doing? It was easier to just imagine that cute baby pictures appeared out of thin air. Well, get ready to have that same experience—with deli meats. There are certain things I'd just rather be left in the dark on. And, honestly, after learning how deli meat is made, I think I'm going to need to find some good meat alternatives stat, because YUCK.

Once a year, I go vegetarian. I announce that I'm not eating meat for an indefinite amount of time, and it goes really well for about 6 weeks. I feel a lot better about my diet and I'm very pro-veg in the sense that I'd be fine eating rice and beans, falafel pitas and cheese pizza for the rest of my day. But every time, without fail, I hit the two month mark and LOSE IT because I need a cheeseburger, and that's when I remember how much I like meat (#whoops).

My point isn't that I'm flighty about my sources of protein, although that much is clearly true. My point is that this video has me seriously considering going vegetarian again, or possibly just hiding under my bed until the end of time. Anyone want to join me?

The goal of this video wasn't to gross us out. I don't think, at least. The deli meat reveal is from How It's Made, which is a show known for—you guessed it—explaining how everyday products are made. I'm all for the transparency. I want to know exactly how many carcinogenic ingredients are going into my dish soap. But deli meats are the first thing that have me rethinking my approach. Ignorance is bliss, guys.

Without further ado, the video that's going to turn us all into vegetarians:

Whether it's pushing you toward vegetarianism, or toward your deli counter to support your local meats, I hope this was enlightening for you.

Here are some every day foods whose manufacturing process is a little less revolting:

1. Bread

Any carb that King Tut was making is good enough for me.

2. Cheese

I mean, cheese is one of my major food groups, so I feel like I should probably understand how it's made. I'm pretty pleased that it really is made from curds and whey, and that Little Miss Muffet wasn't messing with me this whole time. (Little Miss Muffet, as in the chick who sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey. Is anyone still with me here?)

3. Butter

I probably won't be using it as a beauty cream, but I'm glad the ancient Egyptians got so much mileage out of it.

4. Beer

Basically, we're still making beer the exact same way. We're still using barley and hops, we just happen to have fancy machines to do more of the work now. Oh, and How It's Made wants you to know that the Mesopotamians drank it because they knew how to ~get down~.

For more videos like this, and to once again watch the graphic, not-so-holy depiction of how deli meat is made, visit How It's Made.

In the meantime, BRB, going to buy tofu before I drown in my tears.

Images: Susan Lucas Hoffman/Flickr; Giphy