29 People Describe Their Best Sexual Experience Of All Time In Five Words

Taste and preferences differ wildly from human being to human being, which is part of what makes life a whole lot less boring. It helps make sure each relationship and bond shared between two people has some sort of unique aspects, which basically means banging different people will yield different experiences. In an effort to better understand our special sex snowflake selves, we asked a bunch of people to describe their best sexual experience in five words. You're welcome in advance for all the sex inspo, guys, because our sources did not hold back.

Apparently, it seems location doesn't reign king only in planning vacations. Many people defined their most boss bang by where it went down and how they got down. I have a lot of respect for this, because it's a pretty tough challenge that I don't feel entirely confident I can pull off myself. OK, lemme try: "RIP Lou Reed apple orchard". Wait, no, that's incorrect. That wasn't my best time, just a time. One that sounds more interesting that what is likely the truth. The truth, if I'm being honest, is probably 80% less exciting than that romp sounds. Maybe more like: "dinner was fun let's go". Sorry to let you all down.

Lucky for you, though, the folks we surveyed were better at scoring orgasms in compelling scenarios they were willing to share. Aight, here we go—in five words, people's best sex explained:

"Handicapped chairlift at racquetball court." — Dave

"Attic at an art show." — Pablo

"Amphetamine daybreak; silk scarves, belt." — Colin

"Psilocybin unveils uncharted pleasure portals." — Hilary

"She was into early Beatles." — Joseph

"Huh. Discussing cleanup isn't awkward." — Aline

"Glorious oral, hitachi, so GIRTHY!" — Christine

"We finally figured it out." — Rachel

"Saw, conquered, came, walked home." — Nick

"Flailing limbs out a taxi." — Emily

"Didn't even exchange a 'hello.'" — Bennett

"After years of sexual tension." — Shula

"She squirted in my mouth." — Chris

"Where'd my brain go?" — Dale

"It is just so forbidden." — Jessica

"Torn tongue piercing, my butt." — Angel

"Oh! Now I get it." — Heather

"Great conversation starts it all!" — Dave

"Didn't realize I was screaming." — Chelsea

"That's f*cked up. Into it." — Daniel

"You can smoke in here." — Aude

"When it rains, it pours." — Woody

"Balancing-act-shower, saw god." — Alan

"Freshly laundered socks and undies." — Miles

"Coffeehouse tables have many uses." — Ian

"Whoops, we ripped the sheets." — Issa

"First time she'd ever orgasmed." — Trevor

"Six orgasms in two hours." — Melanie

"Guac isn't extra for you." — Angela

I hope you all understand this is basically a challenge. I'm challenging you to take on one or seven of these prompts for your own sexcapades. If you choose to accept and they go well, please tell your satisfied partner to email me burrito coupons accordingly. If not, this whole thing was my editor's idea. Good luck!

Images: Spenser/Flickr; Giphy (10)