I will freely admit it: I am one of those people that bemoans the fact that etiquette these days has mostly gone right out the window. That's why I'm so glad that the puppet-based web series Glove and Boots seems to know exactly where I'm coming from: Their latest graced us with the greatest airplane etiquette video you'll ever watch. Evereything is better with puppets, and since puppets are what Glove and Boots does best... well, you do the math. It's gold, you guys. Absolute, puppet-y gold.
I'm not exactly a stickler for etiquette — for example, I could really care less whether you use the correct fork to eat your salad — but I do think we have tendency to overlook the pieces of etiquette that are really about being courteous to other people. It's for this reason that I dig Glove and Boots' videos so much: They mostly deal with the courtesy issue. Most of Johnny T's subway etiquette schtick, for example, was how not to be That Jerk on the subway — y'know, the one who takes up five seats while eating the world's smelliest tuna melt. I mean, I love a good tuna melt as much as the next girl… but there's a time and a place for it, and the subway is not it.
The same is true of this airplane etiquette video, hosted primarily by Fafa the Groundhog. Serving as our mdoel for what not to do, we have Mario; there's even a surprise appearance by Johnny T. Sure, air travel can be a little bit of a pain in the butt, but it doesn't have to be — or least, it won't be if you follow these simple tips.
Scroll down to watch the full video!
1. Rule number one: Get to the airport early. I mean it.
According to Fafa, airline personnel (who may or may not include the crew from Airplane!) recommend arriving a full 90 minutes before your flight. This is a number I, too, endorse, because generally it's always better give yourself more time than you need than not enough. Why? It's not just because you might miss your flight — it's because you cause a huge hassle to everyone else when you cut it that close. Saying “I'm about to miss my flight!” might get you to the front of the security line — but it also pisses off everyone in front of whom you just cut. Then the plane has to wait for you, which might make it late taking off, which might in turn make it late for its next trip after the one you're on, and, well… you see where this is going. Remember that whole courtesy thing? This is it in action.
2. The preferred methods of getting to the airport rank as follows:
The thing that sucks about driving yourself to the airport? As Fafa puts it, “You'll spend more money on parking than you did on your ticket to Zimbabwe.” Because airport parking is ridiculous.
3. How to deal with a terrible seat mate:
What do you do if you end up seated next to someone awful? Easy: Put on headphones and pretend to sleep. Now you don't have to deal with them. Problem solved.
4. To recline or not to recline?
Personally, I think everyone is entitled to recline their seat if they want to (I mean, the seats wouldn't recline if they weren't supposed to, right?), and people who use those knee defender things are jerks. I realize, however, that there are those who feel the exact opposite. In either case, though, the important thing is not to get too bent out of shape about any of it. Are you annoyed because the person in front of you reclined their seat? First off, go ahead and recline your own; it'll probably relieve some of the pressure on your knees. And second off, don't get mad at them — they might be just one in a long line of people reclining their seats because the person in front of them reclined theirs, too. We're all in this together, y'all.
5. How to get off the plane:
Fafa urges us to think of the aisle in which the tiny beverage cart fits in like a highway. Everyone has to merge onto it, and you absolutely cannot push your way onto it even if you are extremely tired of being on the airplane. It only takes one self-entitled meaniepants not merging correctly and pummeling his or her way into the line to cause a giant, massive traffic jam… which subsequently causes every single person on the plane to be late. Don't be that self-entitled meaniepants.
Watch the full video below. Happy flying!
Images: Glove and Boots/YouTube (5)