Ideally, this week would be cruising by and we wouldn't need the crutch of puppy videos until at least Thursday. But you know what? Sometimes you just need to succumb to the cuteness of the Internet on Tuesday. Especially when you find the derpiest puppy in the history of the world. Up until now, I thought adorable puppy photos were the cream of the Internet crop. Not so. The only puppies for me are the under dogs. (HA, see what I did there?) I don't need the celebrity puppies of Instagram, but find me a derpy dog who doesn't know how to itch his own tail, and I'm sold.
This dog is have a few...grooming issues. Hey, sometimes you just need to do some mid-day self grooming, but like, it's hard. Like when you go into the office and forget to put on deodorant. What do you do? Buy some at CVS and try to subtly apply it in Aisle 6? Or do you excuse yourself to go to the restroom, and try to wipe off some sweat? Ain't nobody got time for any of that. If your grooming vice is deodorant at the office (it's definitely mine, tbh), then you can certainly sympathize with this puppy who has a grooming issue of his own: He can't scratch himself. Guys. He's REALLY trying. But life's greatest challenge, gravity, is getting in his way. Let's hope this pooch doesn't get fleas anytime soon. I don't think he could handle that.
The puppy in question is a Shiba Inu and he was 8 weeks old when this video was filmed. So, in dog years, Shiba's a 20-something, right? (Okay, not quite.)
Presenting the pup who really can't catch a break:
What this puppy really needs a day off. And if you're having deodorant probz, or other hygiene struggles, you could probably use a day off too. C'mon, it's almost summer. What we really need is a few lounge chairs and a bottle of rum. And, I mean, I wouldn't turn down new sunglasses and a beach dress.
Here are a few signs that you and our favorite Shiba Inu need a day off:
1. You are having a lot of trouble standing up straight
You are weak in the knees and it's not because you keep seeing a dashing stranger across the office. It's because you really need to go to bed.
2. You keep awkwardly losing your balance or tripping over your own feet in public
And people are really starting to notice. A few more falls and someone's going to make a viral video out of you.
3. You stretch and yawn every 5 minutes or so and would really love it if someone brought you a cup of coffee
Can you get Starbucks delivered on Seamless? That is not a rhetorical question. Your coffee addiction needs some love.
4. You are overly jealous of every college kid who went on spring break because you really want to go on vacation
And, hey, a vacation fling would be nice too. If it happens in a Dirty Dancing kind of way, that would be just fine.
5. You keep checking the clock to see whether it's time to take lunch yet
But every time you look at the clock, you realize you took lunch 3 hours ago.
The good news is in the full video, our pup finally gets his scratches in. So, at least there's an uplifting takeaway here:
Images: Getty Images; Imgur(3), Giphy(3)