I have been carrying a large handbag since I first began using a purse in middle school. I remember my first bag coming from the Limited Too and resembling a large duffel bag. It was made of faux black and pink leather with the letter "E" (my first initial) engraved on the side. It was love at first sight — one that caused me to blow all of the allowance money I'd been saving for a month on the expensive, massive purse. The reason I wanted it was simply because it was big and in my mind, bigger equated to better.
Fast forward some eight or nine years, and I am still enchanted by large handbags. All of my purses have to be large, or else I know I'll have no interest in carrying them. Even the clutches I own are large and envelope style, ensuring I can fit a book comfortably into the purse.
The reason I carry such big bags is probably similar to most women's logic: Because it allows me to carry my life around. When I can fit my laptop, reading material, phone, snacks, chargers, and more into my bag, it means that I can do a variety of things at any given time. It also means I don't have to stop home as much as someone who isn't carrying a large bag might, since I can solve the problems of being hungry, needing to charge my electronic devices, or having to write an article no matter where I am thanks to that unusually large purse.
I have, however, been given a lot of crap for my big bags, and I dread when people ask me about this penchant. Quite frankly, I don't think what is in my bag is any of your business, unless I decide to show you its contents. My bag, my rules!
I know I'm not the only large bag-carrying woman out there who feels this way, so here are 11 things women who carry big bags are tired of hearing:
1. "Isn't that heavy?"
OK, carrying a large bag doesn't necessarily mean it's heavy; maybe I'm carrying around tissues and feathers! While this isn't likely true for most people, I think this is one of those you-already-know-the-answer sort of questions that you only ask to passively express your disapproval to someone. What I'm really hearing when you ask this is, "Why are you carrying so much stuff with you?" to which my answer is "leave me alone."
2. "Don't you get tired of carrying that thing?"
Maybe. But what does it really matter to you? If I'm tired, then I'm tired. Look at it as weightlifting; I may be tired, but I grow stronger with each and every second I'm carrying this bag.
3. "Why do you really need such a large bag?"
If you're asking this, you need to back up real quick, since I'll be tempted to say, "So I can do this," and proceed to hit you with it. All kidding aside though, it's because I want to carry a large bag with me. Any other questions?
4. "What do you have in there?"
My stuff. Seriously, it's none of your business what I'm carrying around in my bag. I'll show you if I want to or feel it's necessary, but I will likely will keep the contents of my bag to myself. If I wanted you to be able to see what was in my bag, I'd be carrying around one that was transparent.
5. "Are you planning to flee the country?"
Someone once asked me this question as a joke, but I thought it was kind of obnoxious. Obviously you're just trying to make me self-conscious for my choice in bags and I won't fall for your bag-shaming, damnit!
6. "Do you have any (insert item here)?"
When people see that you're carrying a large bag, they seem to take it to mean that it's a free vending machine, where they can take from it what they like. No, I don't have any gum, change, chargers, or pens, and even if I did, I wouldn't share them with you.
7. "Do you always carry such a large bag?"
Yes, yes I do. I carry around massive purses just so that I can piss you off and declare my large bag pride to the world.
8. "Is carrying a bag that large really necessary?"
If I thought I didn't need to carry a bag this big with me, then I wouldn't. Some of us need more stuff with us than others, OK?
9. "Do you ever carry smaller bags?"
Of course I do; if I'm going for a night on the town, I'm not going to bring a hobo bag along with me. This is another question that has a really obvious answer, which means you don't need to ask it in the first place.
10. "You're going to ruin your back!"
Not if I change shoulders, take bag carrying breaks, or carry my bag in front of me! I am well aware of the health risks of carrying a big bag and I don't care at all — I'm still going to carry as big of a bag as I please.
11. "Big bags are really out of style."
I am not a slave to fashion trends or to your judgement, so I really don't care if they're in vogue or not. If I like big bags, than they are very in style, thank you very much.
The moral of the story is that if you have thoughts about someone carrying a large bag, please keep them to yourself. I guarantee that A: We've heard your question before. And B: We don't care what you have to say.
Images: Fotolia; Giphy (11)