George has a new baby sister! The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge Prince William and Kate Middleton welcomed their second child on Saturday, May 2 at 8:34 a.m. According to The Telegraph, royal baby no. 2 was due April 23, meaning Kate is a super trouper for holding out until the princess was ready to arrive fashionably late, in true royal style.
The account also reports that the baby is 8 lbs, 3 oz, that Prince William was there for the birth, and that both Middleton and the new baby are doing well.
And because this new little girl is now the fourth in line to take the throne, it's probably more likely she will be spending their days as a princess, kicking it with Uncle Harry. I'm of the opinion that books are the greatest baby shower and newborn gift you can give, but let's face it: Will and Kate don't need anymore presents. They probably have an entire wing of their home dedicated to baby gifts. Instead, We can offer them some of our inside literature knowledge: Lessons from the best and worst literary princesses and princes she can use to learn how to carry herself as a new member of the royal family. (George, I hope you're listening, too.)
This is how excited new big brother George is about this right now:
The Good: Princess Elizabeth, The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch
Princess Elizabeth doesn't need a Prince Charming. When a dragon attacks the castle, she's the one to outsmart him and save everyone. She's sassy, funny, brave, and completely true to herself. She can definitely remind the next royal baby that you don't always have to act like the prim and proper prince or princess. Just ask uncle Harry.
The Bad: Princess Aurora, Sleeping Beauty by the Brothers Grimm
You don't want to be the royal who is famous for sleeping. Aurora is beautiful, she's got good taste in men (#TeamPrincePhillip forever), and she's pals with all the woodland creatures, but she's basically got nothing to contribute. Sorry. The real stars of this show are Disney's Flora, Fauna, and Meriweather, so it's just sad the Brothers Grimm didn't have the good sense to add them from the start.
The Good: The Little Prince, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
A prince isn't all about being authoritative; The Little Prince classically tells us that being inquisitive is far more important. Just because you're ostensibly a leader doesn't mean you have to pretend to have all the answers. And then there's this of course: "One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eyes." Drink it in, Royal Baby.
The Bad: Prince Joffrey, A Song of Ice and Fire series by George R.R. Martin
Worst. Prince. Ever. (Worst person ever?) The only thing worse than Prince Joffrey is King Joffrey. Violent, cruel, petulant, sadistic, misogynistic, and has the kind of face you want to slap (thank you, Tyrion). Stay away, royal baby.
The Good: Princess Aerin, The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley
Before Aerin ups and saves her land from a fire-breathing dragon, she spends three years experimenting with making a fire-proof ointment and horseback riding until she's got them perfected. Then she goes and takes down said dragon. Lesson: Learning and being prepared is a crucial pair to being brave.
The Bad: Sara Crew, A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
I know, I know, but being "kind" isn't really enough to turn this princess-by-nickname-only into someone you want to emulate. She starts by being materialistic and elitist and she wins by gaining an insane inheritance and living wealthily ever after. Cool story, bro. Constantly referring to yourself as "princess" isn't going to win any hearts either.
The Good: Prince Roger, A Barrel of Laughs, A Vale of Tears by Jules Feiffer
Chances are, if you were lucky enough to be reading this 1995 children's book, it has stuck with you. Everyone else, go find it now. Prince Roger has never seen a sad thing in his life, so he's always walking around happy-go-lucky, with a smile that literally causes everyone around him to laugh. Pretty much a good quality for everyone in the world. But on a quest, he is forced to encounter all sorts of angry and tragic things to turn his worldview. While in the end, he isn't happy all the time, he has kept his positive spirit, reminding everyone that despite all the world's horrors you may see when you're in charge, a kind and positive outlook is crucial. Plus absurdest, imaginative humor is a great quality.
The Bad: Prince Hamlet of Denmark, Hamlet by William Shakespeare
I'm about to throw some shade on one of Shakespeare's most famous characters. Hamlet isn't necessarily evil, but my goodness, could he be more annoying? He's self-indulgent, whiny, and immature and he treats Ophelia like absolute nonsense. There's no way you want him running your country.
Image: Giphy (4)