Fall Out Boy was like, the band of 2005 — they released their sophomore album, From Under The Cork Tree, and the album’s first single, “Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down,” was just a monster. You heard it every 15 minutes on alternative radio, and it’s so damn catchy that when it wasn’t on the radio, it was in your head anyway. Though Take This To Your Grave is my favorite Fall Out Boy album, I can’t deny “Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down” was a hit from the very beginning. The video, though? The video was completely bizarre and irreverent and, I guess, everything you would have expected out of Fall Out Boy at that particular moment. In 2005, none of these pop-punk/emo bands had jumped the shark or overpopulated the market, so Fall Out Boy was fresh and cool and edgy. Not to say that they aren’t any of those things now, but for those of us who were listening back in the day, things are quite different now.
In honor of the ten-year anniversary of From Under The Cork Tree (where is this cork tree, by the way?) and “Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down,” I’ve chosen to examine this strange, strange video so you don’t have to.
The Video’s Protagonist Is Part Deer
Like a manbearpig, but not. He looks like a real boy, but he has antlers. Sort of like a jackalope, except he’s a human.
Everyone Hates Him & Kids Throw Underwear At Him
I guess they just don’t have anything else to throw. Maybe they live in a trash-free world. It’s also worth noting that lead singer Patrick Stump looks like a baby here.
This Boy’s Antlers Are So Big They Snag Kites
But, fortunately for him, a girl is on the other end of that kite, and they seem to really like each other. This girl also looks like Ellen from The Adventures of Pete & Pete, but that’s neither here nor there.
The Girl’s Dad Doesn’t Like The Boy
I mean, who could love a boy with antlers? I’d be alarmed, too, to be honest.
The Boy Hangs Out In A Lot Of Cemeteries
Gives meaning to “lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum,” I guess.
Pete Also Does This Weird Thing
It’s when Patrick sings, “wishing to be the friction in your jeans,” and I don’t like it. It gives me the squicks.
The Boy Realizes That He Is A Freak & Tries To Change
He wants to saw his antlers off. That’s kind of… violent, don’t you think? Luckily, his girlfriend convinces him that she likes him the way he is, and she even buys him an orange vest so hunters won’t shoot him.
The Dad Tries To Shoot Him Anyway
But then the boy is saved because the dad gets hit by a car, revealing the fact that he is also a deer. Self-hatred is a powerful thing, my friends.
They All Live Happily Ever After
Once the dad comes clean about his deer hoofs, everyone pushes aside their differences and lives in a perfect animal/human utopia.
So what does it all mean? Well, I have no idea. It seems a lesson in tolerance, but it could just be the band messing with us. I guess we’ll never know.
