Block All Kardashian Content From Your Internet
Need the Kardashians off your Internet? Have you just had enough of seeing every corner of the digital world saturated with their heavily made-up faces? Turns out, there's an app for that. (Okay, there's a site for that; I just wanted to use that phrase.) No one could blame you for wanting to get the Kardashians off your internet. They are everywhere. Remember watching The Ring and then having that woman appear everywhere you went for a week? The Kardashians are like that on your Internet. Some of us are totally fine with not hearing about Kim Kardashian dying her hair blonde, nor do we care that Kendall is also blonde now. We saw the rise and fall of Kim Kardashian's iPhone game and while we're happy for her for making a fortune and we think her child's super cute, it's time to take a Kardashian hiatus. We know longer need to keep up with them. (See what I did there? You did? Oh, okay.)
The ad block is aptly named "KardBlock" and there mission is simple:
We don't care about how Kanye & Kim didn't care when Amy Schumer "fell over". We don't care about who the Kardashians are or aren't sleeping with. We don't care that Kim dyed her hair blonde. We don't care about the Kardashians.
It's a pretty direct code of ethics. They do make it clear that they keep any positive Kardashian news, such as Bruce Jenner's transition, in the spotlight. But they could really do without the rest of the shenanigans.
When asked to respond, Kim said:
Just kidding. Let me state for the record that this is a joke and I've never spoken to Kim K.
Great, okay, continuing:
In honor of this news, I think it's important that we go over the worst things Kim's ever said, before we choose the righteous KardBlock path:
1. When she was pregnant, she said to Kris:
“If labor’s worse than this, I’ll hang myself. I’ll literally take a knife and slit my throat!”
I'm not entirely sure how Kris responded, but seeing as she's had six children, I think it's pretty fair to say that she's felt cramps that were a lot worse.
Kris has her a few classic quotes too:
I'm not seeing the correlation, but I will admit that I don't like not having cell service either, so it's okay, Kris.
2. Kim explained the essence of being Armenian
And probably offended a few people when she said: “I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal!" I'm sorry, what?! No. Really though. WHAT?
Also on being Armenian she said: "I don't understand why everyone is always going on about my butt. I'm Armenian. It's normal."
I'm not even going to engage on that.
3. On her body, Kim said
"I'll have surgery at some point. I’ll do my boobs for sure. I'll never do my butt — I mean how would you sit down?"
The moral of the story is that while there are certainly a few breaking Kardashian news stories we could live without, we accept the Kardashians as people and understand that they'll always hold a place in our Internet existence. But it's time to remove them so we can focus on more important issues without a Kardashian story popping up next to real news. KardBlock is on it.
Images: Getty Images; Giphy (4)