Look, I don't like talking about farts. I'm a total fart wimp. Even typing the word makes me cringe a little bit, and it wrecked Austin Powers for me for life. But maybe now my gas narrative is changing, because it turns out that there's a pill that makes your farts smell like chocolate. Not just chocolate—Christian Poincheval's new pills can make your farts smell like roses, violets, or ginger. I didn't even understand how badly the world needed this until it happened, and now that it has, I'd like to petition for flights to pass them out to every passenger that boards a plane until the end of time.
The best part is that not only do these pills make you smell like a garden, but they're actually good for you, too. According to their 65-year-old Poincheval, an expert in homeopathy, they can reduce bloat and ease intestinal flow. The pills have all-natural ingredients, with the chocolate one full of vegetable coal, fennel, seaweed, plant resin, bilberry, and cacao zest.
The inspiration for the pills was about as unfortunate as all the reasons we want them. After a particularly good feast, Poincheval and his friends had a less than sweet experience. "We had just come back from Switzerland and we were eating a lot with our friends and the smell from the flatulence was really terrible. We couldn't breathe so my friends and I decided something had to be done," Poincheval said in an interview with The Local. "We needed to invent something to make them smell nicer."
Don't pretend this isn't something you want. You are not immune. Even Beyoncé farts, at least once a year, probably. If you're so inclined, you can buy your fart pills here. A pack costs about $22 in American dollars and includes 60 capsules, which translates into about 60 moments everyone in your immediate vicinity will wish you were dead a little bit less. OR you can just give them to your friends as birthday presents and sit back and watch everyone passive-aggressively stop inviting you places. Your call.
Bombs away, y'all!
Images: Getty Images, Pilulepet, Giphy