This Kid's Mom Threatens To Call The Cops After She Caught Him Stealing A Cup And His Reaction Is The Stuff Of Pure, Blissful Internet Gold — VIDEO
Sometimes there's a video. I won't say a classic, 'cause what's a classic? But sometimes there's a video. And I'm talking about the video here. Sometimes there's a video that is the video for its time and place, that fits right in there—and that's this video, on the Internet. This video of a little boy who stole a cup absolutely loses his mind when his mom threatens to call the police on him is just about the best video on the whole damn Internet. To quote my friend and editor Jessica Blankenship, "I can't wait until my kid is old enough to start doing sh*t like this." (Editor's note: Truth. I really can't wait. Kids are so dumb, it's amazing.)
The video opens with the little boy already in a fluster, crying violently, his face contorted into a mask of absolute fear and regret. It seems that he unintentionally took the cup, and his mother, like the rest of us, finds it completely hilarious to mess with him, so impassioned is his begging for her to show mercy. My confession is that this might be my favorite ever internet video, and I feel guilty about that because the little boy in it is completely twisted with terror, but the heart wants what it wants, and I want to watch this video on loop forever. Reasons why it's so great include:
1. The complete emotional and bodily fear, remorse and desperation gripping this child is so obscenely and outrageously over the top, it's hilarious
2. The complete nonchalance and slight smile in his mother's voice just serves to exacerbate his fraught pleading
3. The genius of adding "just to your little" to his cry, "I'm just your little son!"
4. The guttural repetition of "I'm your son!"
5. The way it plays perfectly on a loop without skipping a beat
Watch below, feel probably as guilty as I do for laughing your nuts off over this kid's reaction. I also really hope this boy, like the Nintendo freak out boy, grows up to bank a huge cheque when a corporation uses his grown self in their advertising. This is my greatest wish for humanity.