Mother's Day is this Sunday, May 10. What are you doing for your mom? (Hint: If you haven't figured out what to do, here's what your mom really wants for Mother's Day.) All they want is for you to give them the day off, maybe make them a nice meal or send them a hilarious Mother's Day card. They want you to hang out with them more than you do on the average day or they want a substantial phone call instead of a "Hey! Call you tmrw, love you!" text. You know what you shouldn't do, though? Prank call your mother. Don't do that. It's not fun for them. Actually, it is a little bit fun. But mostly it's scarring. Just don't do it. Well... OK, do it, and also call me on three-way, but make sure you send her something extra nice as a gift to make up for it.
This Mother's Day, what your mom really wants is for you to not get pregnant and not get arrested. So, like, could you bear that in mind this Friday night? DON'T GET ARRESTED. You can do it. I know you can. I have faith in you.
On the off chance you do get arrested, Elite Daily wants you to know exactly how your mother will react. So, they had a handful of people prank call their mothers to announce that they were either pregnant, had gotten someone pregnant, or were in jail.
The mothers, as you might guess, were not pleased.
Not the most surprisingly breakthrough in the world, but still hilarious to watch:
If you need to do a little more research on Mother's Day before deciding on a present, we found of a few videos to help.
First, in the name of all that is holy, please watch Jimmy Fallon teach you things about Mother's Day:
Here are the takeaways from that: Your mom might not have you saved in her phone, you can buy a semi-appropriate card at the gas station, Joe Biden is the sh*t and you shouldn't hire a cleaning lady on Mother's Day because you need to have a heart. Clean for your mother YOURSELF.
Next, watch Amy Schumer pass along her mom's bad advice (to distract yourself from that fact that you've yet to buy your mom a present):
Once you get past the fact that Amy thinks relationships are divided into one person who's the sad one and one who's an alcoholic, you get to her mom's advice. Her mom speaks in bumper sticker lingo, and she wants you to dance like no one's watching.
If you're still looking for card inspiration, don't worry, you can always send your mother this digital card:
Then wear a really nice sweater to brunch and call it a day. Maybe even put on a tie, per the brother's suggestion. Actually, maybe don't take any advice from these brothers. Yeah, that seems like a better plan.
Finally, here's what your mother REALLY wants for Mother's Day. Or at least, here's what mothers with young, crazed children want for Mother's Day:
"I want 10 leave-me-the-eff-alone coupons." Bless this mother.
These moms really just want you to not tie them to a chair. Is that so much to ask?
Images: Getty, YouTube