What To Do If You Don't Like The Taste of Semen, Because Not Everything Can Taste Like Strawberries

Regardless of how much you may care about him, you may not be a fan of the ol' jizzeroo. Even if you love giving BJs, I can't imagine you actually like the taste of semen. But how do you make semen taste better? Semen on a good day tastes like sour milk mixed with damp socks. As much as guys would like to believe that every woman loves to slurp down their seed like it's a Dairy Queen milkshake, we know that ain't true.

According to some studies, semen is meant to taste bad so we aren't tempted to drink it like water from a fountain, allowing semen to go to its correct venue; the vagina. Well that might be fine and good, but there's a whole lot of things humans do that defy evolutionary explanations.

Which means we still have a major predicament: what's a girl to do when it comes to that icky nasty spunk? You could just say, "I'm like a spitter not a swallower." Or "I'm not swallowing your jizz." If he's a decent fellow, he'll be OK with this. However if you really want to and you can stand the taste, you're going to have to find an alternate solution for your sticky predicament. Haha, get it? Sticky? OK moving along, there are many possible solutions. Let's get started.

1. Tell him to stop eating meat

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I hate to break it to all the meat eaters and steak-eating, football-playing, alpha males, but meat makes one's jizz taste like a rancid foot. Just ask former porn star Annie Sprinkle who says vegetarians taste the best. So dump the meat (or decrease the amount he eats) before you plan on swallowing his special sauce.

2. Put down the cigarettes

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Unsurprisingly, cigarettes are known to funk up his creamsicle juice. Dating the bad boy might be hot, just not when you're going down on him. So tell him to give up the smokes at least for a few nights if you intend on treating him.

3. Have him drink pineapple juice

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Believe it or not, pineapple juice does make semen taste better. The only hitch is that he has to drink a lot it a day or two prior leading up to the big event. His cum isn't going to taste like a bowl of ice cream, but it sure as hell will taste a lot sweeter than it did before!

4. Mask your mouth with flavors

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Pop a mint or a red hot before he's about to orgasm et voila! His juice is now mint flavored. You could also try a packet of sugar / Equal / Splenda before he orgasms for a sweet effect. Or you could get super fancy and try a flavored strip like the ones from Masque. They come in four different flavors (strawberry, chocolate, mango, watermelon), last for 15 minutes, and truly mask the flavor of semen.

5. Deep throat

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The further you can get his penis in your mouth (safely), the less likely you are to taste anything. For the simple reason that the back of your mouth has less taste buds. Plus, you can swallow more quickly and easily as his load will go straight down rather than linger on your tongue.

6. Take a drink after

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If all else fails, take a swig of juice after you're finished! Just make sure to keep it by your bed for easy access.

Images: Fotolia; Getty Images (2); Giphy (4)