What President Obama's First Week On Twitter Should Have Looked Like, Because Poop Emojis Are Hilarious

Finally. The world won't be seeing tweets ending with -bo anymore, now that President Barack Obama has his own Twitter account. It's a savvy move for our hip president, and possibly indicative of how involved he'll be in our country once his second term is over. Joining with the handle @POTUS, Obama is now on the same level as the rest of the world, where people have been tweeting and trolls have been trolling since 2006.

But is he really going to tweet what I want him to say? The president, understandably, probably doesn't always feel comfortable to write exactly what's on his mind, which is why he has people like Luther, his anger translator, to help him express his emotions. He can't very well just say that Fox News is "scaring old white people" on his own now, can he? So, he might need a little help tweeting since he's not yet versed in the ways of Twitter.

Obama's clearly the coolest president the United States has ever had, though. He drinks beer, takes selfies, has clever sayings. Maybe that will transfer over online. Can I tell you how fast I would retweet 140 characters of just "Can I live?" repeated 13 times to maximize the full character count? Now that he's got his very own Twitter, the POTUS has really become the POTUS on fleek. Here's what I wish the president's first week on Twitter would have looked like.


Like any Twitter newbie, Obama would likely go a little crazy on his first day with the newfound power of tweeting whatever he wanted. He shows his love of pop culture by referencing Jaden Smith's online absence and giving a shout out to his wife, Michelle, comparing her to Beyonce. Swoon. And since he's a quick study, there's no doubt in my mind that he'd immediately understand that mentioning someone with a spot-on emoji is a great way to make a succinct point.


He's likely not quick enough of a study, though, to realize that #TBT is for Thursdays, not Tuesdays, and you can't tweet a #TBT on Monday. He acts like a dad trying to figure out social media, which, well, he is.


Obama's Wednesday was clearly spent doing more important things than tweeting.


The best days at work are the days when someone buys pizza for everyone. It seems like something Biden would do for the Oval Office, and Obama absolutely would just get after it. No shame. By Thursday, Obama should have been loosening up a bit, showing his feminist side but also calling out Fox News for real.


By the end of the week, Obama's hit his stride. He's ready for the freaking weekend, and he's going to have him some fun. Photos galore, he really ensured he expressed his emotions, and he got into more hashtags, jokes, and pop culture. He even made it clear he loves Chipotle and guacamole, which means he gets a special place in my heart.

If Obama's first week on Twitter really looked like this, we'd live in a very different world, but oh, how fun would that be? For now we'll have to settle for Obama's real, polite Twitter and wait for his second term to be over to see if anything gets a little wilder.