Every day, we do a lot of talking. We talk to co-workers, we talk to customers, we talk to classmates, we talk to strangers, and we talk to friends. When our day is done and we walk through the front door to greet our partner, we sometimes don’t want to talk — we just want to unwind and disengage. We feel tired and just want to relax with our other half. While this is all very normal and very fine, it starts to become not so fine when we forget to say the things we should say often in our relationship.
We aren’t putting in the amount of work we know we should with our loved one. We might forget to say “I love you” as much as we used to. We don’t want to cause an argument, so we don’t speak up when our feelings are hurt. And sometimes, we get lost in the day-to-day and become neglectful of our relationship.
So let’s start speaking up again, and communicate with our significant others. Here are the eight things we should start saying more often in our relationship.
A compliment a day keeps the breakups away. That’s the saying, right? Giving a compliment is an easy way for your partner to know you admire and care for him or her. It’s always nice to hear something nice from your loved one. Use your positive words to keep your relationship strong and connected.
2. “I love you”
Now, I’m not suggesting you simply tell your partner that you love him/her day in and day out. I’m saying you look your partner in his or her eyes and say “I love you” like you mean it. It’s so easy to get caught up in our daily lives, and forget to say these three meaningful words. But if you don’t communicate this enough to your partner, he or she might wonder if the love is still there. Don’t keep your partner guessing.
3. “You hurt my feelings”
Even though it can be hard at times, especially for us people pleasers out there, you need to tell your partner how you feel. If you’re upset, sad, or disappointed by your significant other’s actions, you have to speak up. Keeping these feelings inside you is only hurting you and your relationship.
4. “How was your day?”
I know that when I get home from work, the first thing I want to do is vent. Often, we might treat our partner as if he or she is our therapist. We tend to go on and on about the annoyances that happened throughout our day, and forget to ask how our partner’s day went. Therefore, let’s stop and take a moment to be there for our significant other, and be the lending ear they probably need.
5. What You Really Want
All too often, we are thinking about what our other half needs and wants. It’s quite common for us to forget about one person: ourselves. It’s crucial to be direct about what you want out of your relationship. In order to keep a strong and healthy partnership, you will need to say what you want from your other half. Speak up about your sexual needs, your emotional needs, and any other need you have.
I apologize if this one seems obvious, but you would be surprised by the amount of people that have a hard time saying sorry. There’s nothing more frustrating than being with a partner who can’t own up to his or her mistakes. Apologizing and taking responsibility is the last piece of the puzzle when resolving an argument. If you never say “sorry,” the chances of your significant other holding onto resentment could be high. So, sorry, I’m not sorry, you need to be apologizing.
7. “Good morning” and “Good night”
In the very beginning of a relationship, our greetings in the morning and night are on point. But then, slowly, our morning "hellos" and our “good night” lovey-dovey texts fade away. These are two simple words, but they speak volumes.
8. “Remember when ...”
Reminiscing about fond memories is a great way to bring that spark back into your relationship. Talking about that one time you two snuck off because you both couldn’t keep your hands off one another can bring back that fire. Or bringing up the moment you knew you fell in love can help you two feel those butterflies that may have been hidden away.
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