I know, I know — we talk about what your coffee order says about you all the time. But this time? We have illustrations. And everyone loves a cute little artistic representation of what they might be like, right? Coffee enthusiast website Coffee Tasting Club dreamed up this series of delightful little graphics, and they promise to tell you exactly what your caffeinated beverage personality is. How exciting!
But there's just one problem: To be honest, I'm not totally sure which one of these personalities I fall under, and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. I don't really have a “regular” order, per se; I just kind of go for whatever I feel like having at that very moment. It even varies when I'm making coffee at home: Sometimes it's plain ol' black coffee from a drip maker; sometimes it's got a splash of milk in it; sometimes I yank out the French press if I'm feeling fancy; and if I'm feeling really ambitious, sometimes I even make myself an at-home pumpkin spice latte. Out-of-season PSLs are even better than PSLs in October. Just sayin'.
Then again, maybe that's the point. We are all many things, and it's unlikely that our coffee order perfectly encapsulates everything there is to know about each and every one of us. Maybe our drink preference tells us more about how we feel at any given moment than it reveals our deepest, darkest secrets. Or… something.
Get a little taste of what your drink might be saying about you below from Coffee Tasting Club's Instagram account, and head on over to the site itself to see each graphic in full.
1. If You Drink Black Coffee…
You are an enigma. You are always perfectly pressed, and yet your mug choice reveals that you do, in fact, have a whimsical side. Are you Ron Swanson? You're Ron Swanson, aren't you?
2. If You Drink Lattes…
Who says coffee has to be bitter? Not you — and you feel the world is the same way. Add a dose of cream and sugar, literally or metaphorically, and you're ready to deal with anything.
You Drink Cappuccinos…
You either live in Europe or should seriously consider moving there. You're likely of an artistic bent, and you only drink cappuccinos when it's appropriate to — that is, in the morning.
4. If You Drink Espresso…
the same cappuccino drinker we were just talking about, except that
it's probably after dinner now. Cappuccino in the morning, espresso
in the evening. It's very simple, you see.
You Drink Frappuccinos…
You are the world's greatest multi-tasker, a talent which is fueled by all things Frappuccino. You blended beverage of choice keeps your engines cool, your caffeine level up, and everything else functioning. You are definitely on fleek.
6. If You Drink Artisan Coffee…
You probably live in Portland, Seattle, or Brooklyn. Also, you ride a fixie.