12 Funny Lines You Can Use To Hook Up

We’ve all been there: That awkward moment when you want someone you’ve maybe slept with already (or maybe not) to come over to get down and dirty. You’re not quite at the point where you can just be like, “Yo, come over and let’s do it,” so you come with a “nicer” way to get the message across. The classic, of course, is “Do you want to come over and watch a movie?” You know you’re going to watch like, five minutes of that damn movie before clothing starts coming off. Don’t even front.

While the watching movie line is a good go-to, (it’s a classic for a reason, kids) there are other ways to get that same wink-wink, nod-nod dynamic going between you and your potential bed mate. For example, my dad’s college buddy used to ask girls up to his dorm room to “see my goldfish.” I guess he must have been a hottie with a body, ‘cause Pops claims it worked every time.

For those of you who are done with the movie line and don’t have goldfish, I’ve compiled a list of real life “Wanna come over and…?” questions to get you through the next round of Tinder dates. Really you guys, some of these are even crazier than that damn fish — and apparently worked.

1. Can I come do laundry in your dorm?

I know your machine is not broken but I’d be happy to take you for a spin cycle!

2. Want to come over and check out my laser disc collection?

DO YOU HAVE A TIME MACHINE TOO??

3. I’d love to cook you dinner.

And I love free food so if I show up and this was just you trying to get into my pants, I’m gonna be pissed.

4. I want you to meet my dog.

Why yes, I'd love to meet your... dog...

5. Come back and I’ll lend you the book.

Oh, so I don’t have to leave my watch after all?

6. Come over, we can play Twister.

You meant naked Twister, right? Right?

7. I have a curfew because I’m on house arrest. Want to stay in?

Who could say no to that??

8. I know it’s past midnight, but wanna come over for a cup of tea?

WHY YES I DO.

9. So… I live around the corner…

And I know that bus isn’t coming at this hour and I’m too cheap for an Uber so lead the way, friend!

10. You really shouldn’t drive home…

See above, plus sleeping with you is obviously the responsible choice here so…

11. Ever seen Netflix?

No, because I’m actually Amish. SURPRISE!

12. Wanna come over and spoon?

Only if you're down for a reach around.

Images: GIFwrapped (11); Giphy (1); ulianne/Flickr