Life

This Twitter Helps You Name Your Own Pot Strain

by Beca Grimm

Seriously, potheads are perhaps the most innovative people in society. Namely, they find ways to involve weed in everything possible—like THC ice-cream? Cheeeck...and also, pretty much the best summertime edible accessory, IMO. The specific strain names, too, are quite the display of creative juices at peak flow. As such, there now exists a Twitter account for naming your own pot and it's comedic gold. Or completely serious. I can't tell, really.

I mean, I have a basic comprehension in the difference between sativa (the kind of high that doesn't send you to outerspace) and indica (the kind that does). But I have always had issues keeping a straight face when my pot peddlers explain different blends and strains with names like ice-cream yo-yo and Ryan Seacrest. (I'm making one of these names up. You guess which.) It all sounds pretty ludicrous but I guess that just circles back to the fact that names are really arbitrary and used as a means of attempting to categorize different entities and keep track of it all. Like yeah, my name is Beca, but it might as well be Pink Sparkly Diamond Forever (a nickname I petitioned for early in life but sadly never stuck). It's totally whatever—though come to think of it, I'd smoke the shit out of something called Pink Sparkly Diamond Forever...

Anyway, here's some choice selections from the divine namesforstrains Twitter (so growers, take note) paired with my description of the associated, 100% made-up effects:

A mellow, cruise control high. Strong vanilla vodka aromatic quality.

Couch-anchoring abilities but instead best enjoyed sprawled on a lawn because *~festy season iz among US!!!~*

A little goes a long way with this hybrid yet the high is pretty uneven and taxing.

Earthy undertones balanced with bright crystals. You're fucking faded, bb.

Strong cerebral effects with intermittent body high euphoric feelings. Keep salty snacks handy.

Tastes exactly like dirt. We're not sure why this blend exists.