Let's Cut Kaitlyn A Little Slack On The Sex Thing

In case you hadn't heard/don't have access to the Internet/have decided to live under the floorboards for the past few days, I'll just go ahead and refresh your memory: During the highlight reel, ABC teased that Kaitlyn Bristowe has sex with someone on The Bachelorette. And, as was unfortunately to be expected, the Internet was quick to shame her for her actions, not even stopping to take into account that promos are specifically edited so as to evoke a certain response. But guys, real talk: WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF HER SITUATION ARE.

Let's walk through this whole situation together, the Internet's reaction notwithstanding for the moment. It is admittedly unusual for a Bachelorette to admit to having sex—we very rarely know what goes on in the fantasy suite, let alone before they even get down (no pun intended, I swear) to the final three. However, the way she talks about her experience (at least, based on how the promo is framed) makes me think that things don't ultimately work out with the guy she sleeps with. I just feel like she wouldn't have said things like, "I feel like a bad person," and, "I feel like something is wrong with me," if the guy she ends up with is the sex partner in question. Then again, if I were in her position (that is, if I had someone I was dating tell me, "I just feel like you're here to make out with a bunch of dudes on TV"), I'd probably feel more than a little upset, too.

But with all that said, let me say this: The way that this confession appears to be handled by all of the guys (let alone all of the Twitter trolls who spend their day slut-shaming anything and everything with a vagina) is just disgusting. Kaitlyn had sex with someone—so what?! Sex is a natural and healthy part of life within or outside of any romantic relationship, and what would they have preferred? That she had done it and not been honest with all of them? For God's sake, basically all of the guys know (and WANT to know) when Kaitlyn has even kissed someone on the cheek, so you'd think they'd find her honesty refreshing.

I'm not alone in this either. In fact, Bachelor alums are with me all the way. Courtney Robertson of Ben Flajnik's season told Us Weekly this:

"For me personally, I’m like, you go girl! If I was dating somebody for two months and might get engaged to him and you are in the moment... I talk about living in the moment and it’s kind of hard to do that during the show. You have a film crew and producers all watching you, so I give it to her for going after it and indulging a little bit."

Erica Rose of Lorenzo Borghese's season had this to say to the magazine as well:

"That's one way the show's definitely changed... When I was on it, no one even talked about [sex] and now they do and it's just becoming a lot more open. It's good that they talk about it. In real life, people have sex all the time, and it should be talked about."

I mean, seriously, y'all, just let the girl live! She shouldn't have to defend her actions. She felt a physical attraction to someone with whom she likely shared an emotional attraction as well, and they had sex. Big whoop. I'm pretty sure Juan Pablo didn't feel anything above the belt when he had sex with Claire, and you didn't seem him getting slut-shamed by all of his suitors to the point of tears. But of course, I can't compare Kaitlyn and Juan Pablo in the long run—she's clearly so much better than he is.

I'll just leave you all with this: If you were dating two guys at once (as is completely normal and natural to do in the early stages of any relationship, btw), would you like it if, when you told one guy that you wanted to get more serious with the other, he spent an hour berating you for being a sexual being? No. So leave Kaitlyn alone.

Image: Craig Sjodin/ABC