Haikus Inspired By 'The Real Housewives Of Melbourne' Reunion, Because Those Final 20 Minutes Were Poetic
Host Alex Perry’s sunglasses are perched on top of his head, so you know what that means: It’s time for The Real Housewives of Melbourne reunion. Thursday, the first part of the Season 2 reunion aired on Bravo, and if I'm being perfectly honest, the episode didn't get awesome until the final 20 minutes. Sure, there were some funny moments sprinkled throughout (for starters, I haven't stopped howling about Gina casually saying she'd stab anyone who said anything negative about her book), but the reunion REALLY cannonballed into the drama waters around the 40 minute mark. Right before the hour wound down, the conversations escalated, and before I could say "couture," there were accusations of fake tears, accusations of lying about the amount of alcohol consumed, and accusations of using the c-word. It was beautiful.
Just how gorgeous was the episode's ending? As lovely as a serene lake or a spectacular vista can be, neither has moved me to write poetry. However, the last 20 minutes of Thursday night's episode inspired some haikus. I'm no poet, but the power of the reunion coursed through my pen, er, keyboard. I will share my works of art now:
Where are Pettifleur'sTears? Janet cannot see them"Uncomfortable"
Switch the bitch, but doNot fear any tears or thedilated pupils
"C-word," "landing strip"Are the only words I heardDuring that story
Two drinks, that is itCount "one, two" on my fingersNever drunk, OK?
Not drunk as a skunk?That is not what the others sayBut what do I know?
“I’m 50 and I’mSkinny because I don’t drink,”She said, coat in hand
Will Alex PerryEver wear sunglasses?Or will they stay put?
Yelling, yelling, soMuch yelling, but I can't hearWhat is being said
And with that, I'm all poem'd out. Until next week, you lovely, lovely television program.
Images: Martin Philbey/Bravo; realitytvgifs/tumblr