There are some relationships that end and you don’t really think much of it. It might be hard when you say the actual “goodbye,” but it’s rather easy to recover. Maybe it was a momentary fling that just simply faded. But then, there are those relationships that make us and then break us. There are those people we break up that leave us feeling broken ourselves. We can’t stop thinking about them. We go over every scenario in our heads and try to figure out how we can get back together. All of these behaviors are signs that you're not over your ex.
Some exes leave more than a footprint on our hearts. It feels as if they stomped all over it. Every person handles a heartbreak differently. No two breakups are the same. Therefore, it’s okay to not be over your ex just yet. Take all the time you need to properly heal, and leave the judgement behind. It’s better to deal with your emotions head on, instead of pushing them away. Because, before you know it, those pushed down feelings might find a way to rear their ugly head.
Sometimes we might jump the gun and think we are ready to move forward, when we’ve got some more healing to do. Don't try to rush the grieving process and give yourself more time. Here are the signs you might need more time because you’re still not completely over your previous lover.
1. You’re his or her #1 social media stalker
No need to hire a private investigator because you know everything your ex is doing — thanks to social media. Your morning looks a little like this: read the newspaper, drink your coffee and scroll through your ex’s Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Vine and anything else you can get your eyes on. Furthermore, if your previous partner has a new other half, you’ve search him or her high and low. You know the new girlfriend/boyfriend’s whole entire family by now. It's actually kind of impressive.
2. No date is successful because you compare everyone to your ex
You know you’re not over your ex when you can’t have a successful date (with anyone). It’s not be because the people you are dating are bad, it’s because you can’t stop comparing your dates to your ex. He isn’t as smart as your ex-boyfriend. Or, maybe she isn’t as silly as your last GF. Whatever it may be, it’s holding you back from finding the positive qualities in a new potential match.
3. You find any excuse to contact him or her
Oh no! You remembered you left your old sweater that you haven’t worn in ages at your ex’s place. Looks like you’re going to have to call him to come and get it. Hmm — me thinks you don’t really need that sweater and you’re really looking for something else. If you can’t stop finding excuses to get in touch with your ex, it might be time to get in touch with the fact that you haven’t fully moved on. That’s okay though, but it’s just important to be aware.
4. Every conversation somehow leads to the subject of your ex
If somehow you’ve slipped the topic of your ex into your friends conversation about her grandma, then you probably aren’t completely over him or her. After a breakup, it’s quite common for you to want to talk about your ex with as many people that will listen. You need to get it out. But, when every conversation just goes back to this topic, and you can’t focus on anything else, it might be time to invest in an unbiased ear — AKA a therapist.
5. You try to find any way to run into him/her
You know there’s a 1% chance your previous mate might show up at your friend’s house party, so why not make an appearance too? Or maybe you two used to go to the coffee shop close to his or her house, and you find yourself there quite frequently. That’s the kind of thinking of someone who isn’t fully over an old flame.
6. You can’t bear to part with his or her stuff
It’s very “normal” to have a difficult time with knowing what to do with the leftover relationship stuff: pictures of you two, cards, letters, memories, etc. But, if you’re not even ready to look at these mementos, you probably aren’t ready to fully move forward yet. It sounds like you still need some time to heal. You’ll know when you’re ready when you can read through an old love note without a bottle of wine or a box of tissues in hand.
7. It all comes out when you drink
They say a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts, and well, it’s probably true for this scenario. If you’ve had a couple glasses of wine and the tears come out, and your best friend has to take away your phone so you don’t drunk text your ex, you need more healing time.
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