Stop Saying These Things To Lana Del Rey Fans

by James Tison

In the land of gods and monsters, I was a Lana Del Rey fan, shining like a fiery beacon. At some point along the way, Del Rey became the sort of pop music icon that you either love or hate. While some people wrote her off entirely after the SNL performance, others decided to pay attention anyway, and learn to love her for who she is — a complicated, occasionally off-putting, seriously talented singer-songwriter. While you may not like her, you should definitely never say these things to a Lana Del Rey fan.

For the record, I totally understand not liking Del Rey, because I, too, once fell firmly into the anti-Del Rey camp. I thought you'd have to be totally shallow, or just like bad music, in order to obsess over something so silly. It turns out, I was the one being silly. One night I listened to "Body Electric" on a whim and was totally intrigued. When I saw the video for "Gods and Monsters," it convinced me that she had at least some talent. Then I listened to her last album Ultraviolence, and became a total convert. Now all I do is sit in my room listening to "West Coast" on repeat while I impatiently await her next album.

Whether she's singing about teen alcoholism or a broken heart, Del Rey is the master of her own world, and I can't help but love her for it. So, for the love of all that is pure and good in this world, please stop saying these things to Lana Del Rey fans.

"She can't sing."

How does this become the go-to complaint for professional singers? People make the same criticism of Lady Gaga, and it's not even remotely rooted in reality in either case.

"Remember the SNL performance?"

Oh my god, shut up. Do you want to talk about that horrible, embarrassing mistake you made seven years ago that made you look like a total fool in front of everybody? Oh, no? Sorry, I guess it's rude of me to keep bringing it up.

"She's had so much work done."

I'm not going to even speak to those rumors, because I flat out don't care. How does her face affect her music or my life? Oh, right, it doesn't.

"Her music is pretty shallow, isn't it?"

You're pretty shallow! "Ultraviolence" expresses everything that's going on in my soul.

"She just seems a little fake. Too much style, not enough substance."

Good work, gumshoe! Del Rey is amazing, but it's still pop music for crying out loud. What do you expect? As far as pop goes, however, Del Rey is cranking out some of the most nakedly honest music in the business.

"She copied Taylor Swift's 'I Knew You Were Trouble' video for her 'Ride' video."

Why are we always trying to pit our favorite ladies against one another? Also "Ride" came first. Haters gonna hate (hate, hate, hate, hate...), Lana; shake it off!

"Her music is depressing."

Okay... This one's a little fair.

Image: Giphy (3)