The Nell Pleasure Seed Vibrator Is $18,000, Because That's The Price You Pay For Gold-Plated Orgasms

Vibrators can be pricey. If you go into any Babeland, you’ll find that while there are vibrators on the cheaper end of the spectrum, a good vibrator will run you between $100 and $200. If you really want to go all out, you can purchase a Jimmyjane Eternity, which will cost you anywhere from $2750 to $3250, but honestly, who has that kind of money to spend on a vibrator of all things? Well, some people, I suppose. So just when you begin to wrap your brain around the fact that there is someone in the world dropping such cash on a vibrator, comes a vibrator so expensive, it makes Jimmyjane look like it’s for paupers only. Thanks to Coco de Mer of London you can now purchase an $18,000 vibrator ― because that’s exactly what every woman needs, right?

Named after Charles II of England’s mistress, Nell Gwyn, the Nell Pleasure Seed is, at least according to its creators, an “erotic objet de vertu,” which translates to “object of virtue.” Strictly “for those who will not put a price on pleasure, Nell is the new definition of elegant decadence.” Similarly to other vibrators that are made to sort of clip into place against your body, what makes the Nell so expensive is the fact that it’s encased in 18-carat gold plate. Let me repeat that: Plate, which means it’s not even gold all the way through.

Along with five vibration settings to “discover and adore… offering endless opportunities for enjoyable experimentation,” the Nell is also “lavishly presented in an artisanal wooden box with gold detailing,” that is lockable. Based on the photos, the lock is gold too, and with that absurd price tag, it should be.

The description of the vibrator ends by pointing out that giving the Nell as a gift is obviously the “ultimate statement of desire,” or as I interpret it, “the ultimate proof that I have a shit ton of money to waste, baby.”

As much as I firmly believe every vagina is worthy of an $18,000 vibrator, I think I’d like to spend my money elsewhere. That type of money can get you a few average priced vibrators and a month in Thailand, or someplace else completely fantastic. But maybe if I had $18K to drop like that, I’d feel differently. Maybe I’d realize the only way to live is to have gold-plated orgasms. If that’s the case, I’ll definitely do a product review, if only to brag.

Images: Coco de Mer; Giphy(2)