The Weirdest Baby Names Of 2014

As a young woman who is neither currently pregnant (that I'm aware of) nor planning on getting pregnant in the near future, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about baby names. So when Social Security released its list of popular baby names, I got unnaturally excited to pour through it. Then, Nameberry, a popular baby name blog, reported that there were 1393 new names added to the list, invented by creative parents who wanted to make sure their children had individualized names, and I got even more excited. Because you guys? The weirdest baby names of 2014 are absolutely epic.

Even the most obscure names on the list aren't quite unique, though; to make it on to the popular names list, a name has to be used at least five times. So bear that in mind: Every name you're about to read below belongs to a minimum of five different real, live children.

Being a narcissist, I decided to look up how many 2014 babies were named after me (all babies named Mikaela are named after me, if that was unclear). Turns out, my name isn't quite as original as I thought it was either; there were 530 babies named Mikaela last year (and that's not counting all of the other spellings of it, of which there are many, just ask every barista who inexplicably thinks my name is spelled McAla).

Here are my favorite endearingly bizarre names of 2014:

1. Mylove

There were seven baby girls named Mylove in 2014. Yep. Seven.

2. Keefer

Nine boys were named Keefer last year, but I want to know how many of them were born on 4/20.

3. Yoyo

The parents of these 12 girls were probably inspired by Yo-Yo Ma, but accidentally just named their kids after a toy.

4. Savage

Because why not name your child after something violent with serious post-colonial undertones?

5.Yaa

So close to "Yaas" and yet, so far.

6. Chaos

Kind of like Savage, these people honestly have no right to be upset when their child turns out to be a handful.

7. Ebenezer

Six different baby girls were named after what I can only assume is Ebenezer Scrooge.

8. Riddik

This name is Riddik.

9. Icey

Six girls were named Icey last year, and that makes six easy targets for jokes about frigidity in about 15 years. Sigh.

10. Hind

No. This is not a name. I reject it. However, this is a chinchilla walking on its hind legs.

Images: Giphy (10)