Miley Cyrus Wants You to Twerk It For Her Not-At-All Twerkable New Single
It's your body, you can twerk if you want to. But just because you can do it, doesn't mean it works, not that that's stopping the Princess of Achy-Breaky Hearts, Miley Cyrus, from asking her fans to twerk for her latest werq. Cyrus is tackling her latest reinvention with her newest passion: twerking. You know, that thing where people with ass muscles far more evolved than my own wiggle in front of the camera in the name of anonymous validation, or, erm, self-expression. Flashed across the Internet for all the creeps and weirdly bored types to watch on repeat, twerking videos have become sort of a "thing." Sort of like making a duck face in photos or planking. As we here at Bustle discussed yesterday, "We Can't Stop" is a slow-churning R&B-laced track that's far from what one might call danceable. It's, at its most aggressive, a head-bouncer at best. So naturally this begs for close-up shots of bouncing asses.
Cyrus, ever the vigilant supporter of twerkers' rights, has taken to her Facebook page to compile a massive database of her fans twerkin' it on camera for the tune's official video. Because nothing complements a down-beat pop song like some aggressive ass movement on stunning, camera phone-quality video. Sure, "We Can't Stop" talks about partying aplenty — drugs, booze, using your mouth any way which way you choose — but just because it talks like a duck and hopes to be a duck when it grows up and leaves the duck pond for good, doesn't mean it's a shoe-tapping club-ditty, duck-faced super-duck ready to werq a twerk at the cluuuurb.
But as the latest anthem for fuck-whatcha-heard-party-all-the-time states: nothing matters as long as fun is being had! Forget logic, pride, dignity, and things that make sense and go together! If you want to do something, it should be yours and it should be celebrated. Huzzah!
Naturally, Miley's completely-age-appropriate twerking fanbase have wasted little time in providing material for what is sure to be a truly engaging, game-changing work of music and art combined:
I guess my biggest problem is that I just don't know how this is all really going to twerk, you guys.
Image: Getty Images