Costco Pizza Is Made By Robots!
I don't mean to be alarmist, but robots are taking over the world as is evidenced by this video of a Costco robot making pizza. Costco pizza has almost as much of a cult following as the store itself, and the Internet has recently been transfixed by the video of how it's made. It's worth noting that the video was originally posted in 2012; since it's just resurfaced, however, I feel it's worth taking a look at again. It's pretty magical. Just saying.
I'm not kidding, by the way, when I say that Costco pizza has a cult following. There are even discussion forums for individuals seeking the dough recipe and Buzzfeed listicles dedicated to it. So, how are the devoted Costo pizza lovers to feel when they realize that their god-given pizza-nectar (mixing metaphors here, just let it go) is really the work of a machine? The sweet and herby sauce is so evenly spread because it was pumped out of a robot's sickly arm, not because it was spread with tender love and care by a charming Italian man named Emilio.
I'm being glib, but maybe there is something to my food paranoia. I think one of the most incredible things about food is that you can actually taste a difference when someone puts time and love into a dish, and when you pass on cooking responsibilities to highly productive (but not highly feeling or loving) robots, maybe we lose something.
Here are some of the video's highlights:
1. The Pre-Sauced Pizza
Just one clean arc of sauce.
2. The First Set of Concentric Sauce Circles Takes Shape
Only a robot could make pizza that perfect.
3. The Deed is Done
It's perfectly sauced, but I can barely look at it. It's repulsive in its flawlessness.
Check out the whole video here if you don't mind having your heart ripped out and stomped on by pizza making machines:
What if you don't like, or have never tried, Costco pizza, though? Does that mean you're off the hook in terms of robots making your food? Well, unfortunately not. Here are 6 foods that are already being prepared by robots.
Sushi robot iMaki has you feed in ingredients, and it churns out perfectly even sushi rolls every time. What is this witchcraft?
Momentum Machine's burger robot can freshly slice toppings like lettuce and tomatoes for your burger, so the ingredients are as fresh as the tears that will most certainly well up in your eyes when you realize what humanity has come to.
A restaurant in Harbing, China has robots prepare and serve dumplings and drinks. In other news, OMG what?!
It's starting to seem like China is the root of all robot food evil. Noodle bars in China are starting to employ noodle robots that slice noodles for them. Admittedly, though, this one is kind of fun, because "noodle robot" is a really positive turn of phrase that I enjoy.
5. Ice Cream
As if Dippin' Dots weren't enough by way of ice cream of the future, a water park in Japan has a robot dishing out soft serve.
Thankfully the burrito-making robot is only a prototype designed by an NYU student, so it's not about take over the world just yet.
Images: Paul Shakur/YouTube (3)