Wally The Bunny Has Ears Like Wings, And He's About To Use Them To Make Your Heart Soar — PHOTOS
On days when you miss a long-distance bus by two earth minutes and are forced to wait in unseasonably cold rain for an additional hour and a half for the next one, you need a miracle. Sometimes that miracle is a kitten born without front legs who hops like a bunny. Other times—this morning, namely—salvation can come by way of this English angora rabbit named Wally, who has ears like little wings. And honestly? If the universe needed me freezing semi-important body parts off in Manhattan's Midtown to necessitate the existence of something so wholly majestic and cuddly as Wally, then that's a sacrifice I'd make again.
According to pretty convincing folklore, French, posh, "sightseeing" sailors stumbled upon a fleet of Angora rabbits in the early 1700s in Turkey. CAN YOU IMAGINE? Your life probably already rules because you're lavishing in a professional leisure sailing career when you arrive on a Turkish beach and are greeted by swarms of adorable, softer-than-soft rabbits. Then I guess before kicking it back to France to lounge in silk clothing and eat indulgent sweets (I'm just daydreaming that detail, TBH), they scooped up a bun-bun to take back as a souvenir. I guess all this background is just a little fun to know and put Wally in more advanced, evolved context. Even though I'm fairly positive the bunnies descending on the French sailors were cute, they weren't Wally. I mean:
He is a Muppet. Like, there is no other explanation other than the frou frou sailors thought they were lavishing in a swarm of rabbits but it was actually a school of native Muppet babies.
Wally isn't even a year old yet. He celebrates his first birthday next month which, yep, makes him a Cancer—just like his human Molly, who documents his ultimately twee lifestyle of romping in hay, lolling about tubes of Burt's Bees products, and generally being so cute I could cry. Some would say Molly is doing a philanthropic effort, essentially making the world a better place. I would say that. Molly is a hero for bringing Wally into our line of vision:
Thank you, Wally, for this joyous presence cutting through as a highly sunshiney and snuggly beam through this gray, garbage Tuesday. And thank you, Molly, for making his presence known. And lastly, thanks to the frilly underpants-wearing French sailors for scooping up portions of this murder of wild Muppet babies to perpetuate happiness into centuries to come. Bless.