6 Relics From Your Past As Painfully Outdated As Gay Marriage Bans
In a historic decision Friday, the Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples have the same fundamental right to marriage as straight couples. The Court also found that individual state bans on gay marriage are unconstitutional. Honestly though, same-sex marriage bans are a thing of the past. They're outdated, they're really uncool, and they are a little bit embarrassing to the states that had or wanted them. Though there are a million things that could make this list, here are six things as outdated as gay marriage bans.
Simply put, same-sex marriage bans are really lame. They're so bad, in fact, that they have been shown to have significant effects on the mental health of people who identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, according to NPR. A 2010 study published in the American Journal of Public Health that polled almost 40,000 people before and after a group of same-sex marriage bans were passed in 2004 and 2005 found a 37 percent increase in mood disorders, a 42 percent increase in alcohol-use disorders, and a 248 percent increase in generalized anxiety disorders among gay, lesbian, and bisexual people.
Those stats help make same-sex marriage bans as uncool as wearing corduroy in the summer (No, my partner definitely doesn't do that...). Here are six things that almost rival same-sex marriage bans in the running for being unoriginal, useless, and outdated.
The Discman first emerged in the '80s, and it's an embarrassment to humankind's technological advancement. Who actually thought it would be convenient and comfortable to carry one of these around all day? I definitely broke and ruined some of my favorite CDs while carrying them around to put in this stupid thing. I mean my friend broke her CDs. My friend, definitely not me, had one of these.
2. Slap Bracelets
Why did we ever think repeatedly slapping our own wrists with a leopard print-covered accessory was a good idea?
The only thing less cool than a slap bracelet is a slap bracelet tan line. So that's what same-sex marriage bans are — the slap bracelet tan line across a very lame state.
3. Velcro Sneakers
This is one item that will never come back in style. And I'm not talking about the cool Nike ones that still technically have laces. I'm talking about the velcro-only white ones with lots of padding. Unless you have trouble tying your own shoes because you're a child or you're old and you have a IDGAF attitude, you shouldn't be wearing them.
4. Wood Paneling On Cars
Your car is not a driving house! How in the heck are you supposed to clean that?
5. Movie Rental Stores
It was really cool and special to have your friend's parents take you to Blockbuster before a sleepover so you could pick out a few scary movies and that gross sour straw candy, but then tech gods created Netflix and Seamless. Thank you, oh great tech gods!
6. School Milk Pouches
If you were never subjected to the torture of the school milk pouch, then you were very lucky. There was a time, back in the day, when schools actually distributed milk that came in plastic pouches, which you had to stab strategically with those pointy yellow straws. Then, you had to make sure you didn't pick it up or squeeze it the wrong way, or else you would be covered in milk for the rest of the day. They were the worst. They were unnecessarily cumbersome and stressed out more people than they intended — just like same-sex marriage bans.