Loki Is The 'Avengers' Most Eligible Bachelor Because, First Of All, He's Actually Single
Everybody loves a good villain. And when that villain is played by an actor like Tom Hiddleston? Forget about it. It's a wonder anyone pays any attention to the rest of the attractive men in the Avengers film franchise when Loki is right there, popping up every now and again to remind everyone why he's their favorite villain. In fact, I would even take that love one step forward. Loki is the most eligible bachelor in the entire Avengers universe. Sure, he might be a little psychotic, a little ambitious, a little murderous, and perhaps a wee bit eager to commit fratricide. But he's got a smile that could make even the strongest knees week, and that laugh. Someone catch me, for I am swooning.
Of course, his looks aren't the only reason that Loki is the bad guy all the girls want. I mean, they help push him over the top, sure, but Loki actually has a lot of qualities that scream "eligible" and "bachelor" and "love me forever." Most of those things are inherent in that tragic backstory that make you want to hug him even when you're trying to slap him, but I want to be practical about this. What is it about Loki that screams "marriageable?" Let me give you nine reasons to hope Cupid makes you a match here.
1. He's The Only Single One
Iron Man has Pepper Potts. Thor has Jane Foster. Hulk and Black Widow have each other, as of Age of Ultron. Clint Barton is married. Captain America is still in love with Peggy Carter, and will soon be involved with Sharon Carter. Loki's only love interest is himself, which makes it easy for us to sneak our way into that empty heart.
2. He's Ambitious
Loki has never been content with being the spare to the heir. With the throne of Asgard wanting Thor to be its ruler, he tried to take over the earth. When that failed, he impersonated his father and now sits on the very throne that rejected him before. Let it never be said that Loki is a man with small dreams, or is incapable of getting what he wants.
3. His Bachelor Pad Is A Palace
Did I mention he's royalty? So his swingin' bachelor pad is actually a gigantic palace in another dimension where sufficiently advanced science and magic are actually one and the same? Sign me up.
4. He Can Handle Himself In A Fight
OK, so Loki tends to lose fights, but that's because he dreams a little too big sometimes. Let's just take a moment to remember that Loki is so good at scheming and manipulating that it took a team of six Avengers to properly defeat all the plans of one man — and he turned one of them against the rest like five minutes into that movie.
5. He's Very Good At Housework
Loki can split himself into many different copies, all of whom are super good at mopping and sweeping and cleaning the shutters and making me breakfast in bed. I am here for it.
6. He Can Do Any Job
In addition to being able to make copies of himself, Loki can also change his appearance to look like whoever he wants. So, basically, you would never run out of money being married to him because he might decide to impersonate Bill Gates or Donald Trump or President Obama next. (Actually, don't let him become Obama. The urge to take over the world might be too strong.)
7. He's Not Intimidated By Other Guys
It takes a very cool cucumber to respond to having every Avenger point weapons in his face with a casual, "I'll have that drink now." Loki doesn't so much have jealousy issues as he has envy issues, so don't expect him to get all possessive. He respects your independence, ladies, and he trusts you.
8. He Has A Great Sense Of Humor
Making a list of all of Loki's best lines would take far too long, but, rest assured, he will have you rolling on the floor laughing so often that you'll have to keep one of his copies around permanently to keep cleaning it.
9. He Looks Like Tom Hiddleston